Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question.

Today's Column: Why do women like bad boys?

 

Dear Chloe,

I have it on good authority that you will be able to help me to understand some of the inner workings of the female mind (is it really that scary in there?) with respect to a fairly simple situation.

I was recently paroled from a long stay in an institution (just divorced) and I'm finding the dating scene somewhat confusing. I was raised to be an old fashioned type of guy (I'm in my late 30's), treat a woman with respect, be courteous, be romantic, you get the picture. I find that the women I have been meeting are barely taking interest.

The men I see who treat women like trash always seem to have a woman hanging all over them. Could you enlighten me as to the correct behavior with women. Perhaps I should take steroids to make me more aggressive and temperamental. Any help you could give me would be appreciated....

I hate to sign off as...

A nice guy who finishes last

 

Dear Too Trusting,

Ahhh. The age-old question: "What is she doing with that creep?" which I can just as easily fire back at you with "Why does he put up with that bitch?"

I don't think any single girl asks her friends: "Hey, does your boyfriend know any losers? And if so, are they available?" The fact of it is that we do want nice guys. And it would be terrible if all the nice guys thought they had to become assholes to get the girls they want. I'm telling you now: they don't. I am sure there are a lot of societal factors involved that affect the wrong choices girls (and guys) make. Things like the relationship their parents had, the way they were treated by their siblings, how their friends were treated by their significant others. Or good old denial. Even the brutes are charming, even sweet, at first.

Now I admit that for some of us, the bad boy holds a certain allure. Smart women realize, sooner rather than later, that the qualities that make those kinds of guys exciting are what make them bad choices for long term relationships.

Inconsistency sometimes keeps people hanging on; too nice = *yawn*. Too mean and they'll beat it. But sometimes nice, sometimes bitchy, and you'll keep them interested.

But my advice to you is to treat people the way you wish to be treated. Boring, but golden. I can't think of a single reason why you shouldn't be respectful to everyone. You know that song "Praise You" by Fatboy Slim? It always puts a smile on my face. That's copacetic.

tout jamais,


P.S. If I hear you do become a jerk to get women, I'll find you and kick your arse.

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

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