Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question. (I might even get carried away.)

Today's Column: I'm no longer in love with my fiancée.

 

Dear Chloe,

So I'm engaged, right, and I've been with this girl for a while and now we live together in a great apartment, but I don't think I'm in love with her anymore. There isn't that bond that we once had and she's not as attractive as she once was. Weight.

Now I know it's pigheaded of me, but don't tell me love is blind, cos I know you don't want to snuggle up to the Pilsbury Doughboy right, let alone have a headboard banging good time, right? But its not just that... She's also become extremely possessive and doesn't trust me to do anything on my own. I'm going to see my sister for example and she calls the restaurant to make sure I'm there with my sister and not another woman... What kind of crap is that?! So how do I tell the girl of my dreams that she was just a polaroid that has begun to fade?

Sincerely,

Engaged Guy

 

Dear Engaged Guy,

Eeeshk!

I'm sure you're aware that the "in love" feeling doesn't last forever. However, I don't think that's the problem here.

I hear you regarding the weight gain (assuming it's a substantial amount we're talking about) but she's aware that she's gained weight, which is most likely escalating the jealousy problem. If you think her losing weight would salvage the relationship, you could do athletic type activities together, like volleyball, rollerblading, the gym, or even long walks. Her self confidence would increase also. But it sounds to me like your heart just isn't in it anymore, and that's ok. You're not obligated to marry someone just because you're engaged. This should be a happy time for you. If it's not, it won't get any better.

So,

  1. call off the engagement. (And when you talk to her, dispense with any corny film metaphors)
  2. move out of that great apartment. (God have mercy if you live in New York City)
Give yourself some space and see how you feel. What are you getting out of this relationship? Maybe you'll find she is the girl of your dreams. Maybe she isn't. But you're not doing her any favors by staying.

à tout jamais,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

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