Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question. (I might even get carried away.)

Today's Column: What are women thinking in a pickup situation?

 

Dear Chloe,

Just curious, I've always wondered about a couple of things with women. First, what are they thinking in a pickup situation? We've all seen on TV and in movies those situations when some random guy goes up to a girl he doesn't know and asks to buy her a drink, for her number, etc. We've also seen them in real life. Obviously, there's going to be some guys who are successful and many who fail. Still, if the situation was reversed, I'd feel kind of weird and it wouldn't matter if the honey is money or horsy either. At a party or in a situation when a common acquaintance introduces someone to me, it all seems normal and flows pretty naturally. But cold pickups of perfect strangers, I don't get it and I don't understand how women can be comfortable in these situations.

On a nastier note, what's the deal with PDA (Public displays of affection)? I can understand handholding and goodbye kisses, that's no big deal I guess. But at parties and clubs, I'll see two people hooking up in plain sight of the whole crowd. What's worse yet is sometimes, the guy would start rubbing his trick up and down the girl's leg or even her can! Both people fully clothed! I guess that's why women sometimes think men are dogs (literally in this case). Anyway, have these people no shame or more importantly, have they no consideration for others around them? Maybe I'm a little prude, but dry humping in public? WTF?

Sincerely,

El Pollo

Note: My pal El Pollo hangs his hat over at Game Post. I like his editorials and reviews, and I think you will, too.

 

Dear El,

This is a good, honest letter...so good, in fact, that I can't make fun of it.

Now of course I'm unable to speak for all women, but when a young lad buys me a drink, my initial light-headed joy turns into: "Um, do I have to talk to this palooka?" Really, it's just part of the game. When I'm talking with a guy, I'm not speculating on his SAT scores, I'm wondering, can I picture myself ever kissing this cowboy? (Umm, that's not entirely true. If it's clear he would have trouble spelling 'SAT', that's an immediate turn-off for me. But you didn't ask that.) Most of us want a decent, interesting, intelligent guy who's reasonably human-looking, even-tempered, and not too selfish. So pick-up lines, moves, gimmicks, posturing, and what-have-you: everyone knows what's going on here. If you can make us laugh, super, but it's ok just being yourself.

As much as I dislike to generalize, I would like to point out a major difference between men and women. A man doesn't have to like someone before he's attracted to her. Women do. (So it is for the most part true that men fall in love with the women they're attracted to and women become attracted to the men they fall in love with.) This is why bars and clubs suck as places to meet people, because it's really difficult to give a girl a reason to like you in such a pressured, superficial situation, (unless you've got the goods, looks-wise).

What a girl feels when a guy tries to pick her up depends on the situation. If he's cute and we want to talk to him then we're happy and excited and nervous. If he turns out to be a jerk, we feel let down, we sigh inwardly and talk for awhile and excuse ourselves in search of the nearest rest room, or one of our friends, whichever comes first. I always try to be nice, because I'm aware he's a person with feelings, just like me, and I know that it's not easy to approach someone.

Of course, most people have learned to read body language to some extent, and know when to approach a MOTOS (member of the opposite sex). For example, if she/he is exchanging long looks and smiling, he/she is most likely going to be receptive. See what other people have said regarding this phenomenon.)

Now about those PDAs you mentioned, I have never had the pleasure myself. I would have to say that a chick who puts up with that is not too bright. C'mon folks, dry humping in public: ewww. El, you're definitely not a prude, you have every right to be offended; you described rude and thoughtless behavior. So I hope this rambling cleared that up for ya.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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