Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question. (I might even get carried away.)

Today's Column: Signs that your crush was kicked in the head, and free web hosting.

 

Dear Chloe,

There's this girl in my class who I've just gotten to know for maybe one month now. I thinks she likes me but I'm not sure. Whenever we're with a group of friends (mostly guys), she tends to stay quiet around me, and if she talks, she talks to the other guys and ignores me.

It seems as if she's angry at me for no reason. However, whenever we're alone, she's pretty talkative. She also flirts alot with a couple of the other guys and seems to pay more attention to them than to me when all of us are hanging out together. I think she's also jealous at times when I talk to other girls in class and maybe she's flirting with the other guys to get me back? I've also noticed that she likes to pick fights with me on purpose for no explicable reason. She's always either in a bad mood or is complaining about something in her life and if I ask her what's wrong or offer advice, she chooses not to talk about it, and gets angry. I'll tell her to grow up, and then she'll tell me to leave her alone. Usually in a day or two however, we start talking again.

I know that she's shy and she has told me that she doesn't trust many people and doesn't open up to a lot of people. It's a strange love-hate relationship but I want to know if she either likes me or maybe likes me just as a friend. I really like her and want to know if she feels the same way so I can pursue further.

Sincerely,

Joey

 

Dear Joey,

Check out what I said to grinspoon_guy, who found himself in a similar situation. Well, except for the picking fights part. And the always in a bad mood part. And the telling you to back off part.

Dude, what I'm getting at is this. You said you're interested in her, but why? You gave me sooo many reasons not to like this girl, and not one reason why I should. In fact, she reminds me of a former friend, someone who was very damaging to my self-esteem, back in the day. Meh.

Granted, as usual, I have no first-hand knowledge of this situation. I'm trying to be all objective based on you being all subjective. So, I'm guessing it's possible that she's interested...but it's hard to tell because she's all over the place, and not in a good way.

You admitted that you have a "strange love/hate relationship"... But, um, where's the good stuff? That she'll talk to you and pay attention to you when there's no one else around? How big of her, to throw you a few crumbs when nobody's looking. I'm not concerned about the flirting she does with other guys, but to pointedly ignore you when you're part of the group is just plain rude (and immature).

Her persistent moodiness bothers me, too. If she were, say, a normal person, at this point she'd still be on her best behavior. I mean, Joey, depressed, petty, whiny and angry -- that's who she is. Just reading about her wore me out. Not a friend, not yet a girlfriend. So what could you possibly be fighting about? And why? What a great start you two have. Just wait til she lets down her defenses and then has an excuse to really bitch things up.

So although she sounds like trouble, and for the record, I'm giving her a big, fat, space-age thumbs down, I suppose you could allow her some more time to get those rocks out of her head. As I've said before, nothing ventured, nothing gained -- so if you really like her, ask her out. But if she doesn't drop the pathetic drama-queen routine, beat it out of there, and don't look back. If she insists on trying to provoke you, tell her, "Excuse me, I didn't ask for you," and walk away. When someone says, "I don't trust/open up to a lot of people," that means, including you. It's not an invitation, it's a warning. You seem to be a decent, intelligent guy and you deserve a righteous girlfriend.

My cousin once asked me this same question about someone he worked with, a stranger to me. From things he said, I gathered she wasn't interested and I told him so. But I underestimated his feelings because he eventually married her and now they're living happily ever after.

I'm just saying, it's really hard to make these judgments long-distance, and I'm not just talking about Joey. Sometimes you guys might have to tell me to go suck an egg and then take a gamble. Like my cousin did. Especially if, like my cousin, you believe that you've found 'The One.' As far as I'm concerned, The One always deserves to know how you feel, even if he or she is in another relationship. Dig?

 Bonus question!

Dear Chloe,

I'm searching for a free web-hosting site that supports FTP.

Sincerely,

Rizwan

 

Dear Rizwan,

I did a quick search for "free web hosting" and I found this site to help you compare free web hosts.

My former web host, Fortune City, is free, offers FTP access, a generous 100MB of space, and other goodies I've never used. The bad news is that you'll have banners on all your pages and support is lousy. Or, you may be lucky like me and have banners AND pop-up ads. (Why, Fortune City, why?) If you can't find what you need in the FAQ or help pages (and often you won't, like how to get rid of the pop-up ads when they disabled that part of the site), you're persona non grata. I can understand that, I mean, you get what you pay for and that's probably the situation at any free web hosting place. Fortune City used to be better, but everybody on the web has taken a hit since then. Envy.nu is free and supports FTP.

DreamWater is a free, NO-AD web host, but they don't allow FTP access. You'd have to use their file manager tool to upload files.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

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