Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question.

Today's Column: "How can I make someone like me?"

 

Dear Chloe,

Ok, there is this guy whom I haven't really paid much attention to but now I'm startin' to pay attention since everyone thinks he likes me. When he and I talk, we like, joke, and he usually teases me and I look up and he looks up and we both burst out laughin'. Oh and get this -- his annoying friends start bein' nice to me when he's around. All right, is he just really nice or does he like me more than as just a friend?!

Sincerely,

ccangel

 

Dear cc,

Maybe. Flirting doesn't mean much if you don't close the deal. Some guys flirt because they're just playing around, and there's nothing wrong with that. Unless, of course, someone is getting the wrong idea. My gut feeling is that he does like you. But you know, sometimes I'm wrong.

That would sort of explain why his friends are nice to you, but maybe everyone's so nice to you because you're so nice to everyone?

 

Dear Chloe,

I like this guy but I do not know how to express my feelings towards him.... I just can't stop thinking about him.... One moment I will say that I like him, and one moment later I will say I hate him...but deep in my heart he is my ever biggest crush!!! Please help me... what am I supposed to do??? How to make him have the same feelings as I do.....??

Sincerely,

cutieshasha

 

Dear cutie,

Feelings are confusing, aren't they? No wonder guys can't figure us out! I guess that's why they say the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.

As I've said before, I can't tell you how to get someone to like you. Just imagine if some guy you didn't like had a big crush on you and wanted to make you like him. Aren't you glad that it's not so easy?

First of all, since you know that you like him, stop playing games and saying that you don't. Relationships are started on a combination of luck, craftiness, risk, fate and opportunity, but you won't have a chance if you sabotage yourself.

Do you know this guy already? You didn't tell me. The only way someone is going to notice you is if you two are in the same place at the same time (that's the opportunity). You could find out where he hangs out, or what activities he's involved in and sign up, too (and that's where your craftiness comes in).

See if any of your friends know him and can introduce you to him (luck and craftiness). Why wait for him to make a move? Invite him to a group thing, so you don't feel the pressure of asking him for a date (risk). We always put our crushes on a pedestal, but they just want someone who is easy to hang out with, who doesn't get all silly around them. Treat him like you would any other guy.

 Bonus question!

Dear Chloe,

I'm a 18 yr. old college freshman and I recently met this college sophomore guy. I'm developing a crush on this sophomore guy and every time we see each other, we make eye contact and wave, and that's it. I'm too nervous to talk to him since he's always with his friends. My friend says that she thinks he likes me. I'm not sure since he only waves and looks at me. One time he came and shook my hand and was staring at me kinda funny. Does he like me or is he just being friendly?

Sincerely,

quietgirl

 

Dear quietgirl,

Have you seen the Squirtonline survey, How To Tell If Someone Likes You?

This is a really tough call. You didn't tell me why your friend thinks he likes you. A lot of guys are afraid to make a move, for fear of rejection. That's understandable, but also kinda cowardly. And from what you've said, he isn't going out of his way to talk to you. He could be looking at you funny for some entirely different reason, like maybe he doesn't remember your name.

I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I was in a situation like that once -- at a party, I was introduced to a guy whom I had a major crush on. After that, I would always greet him by name, even though I suspected he had no idea who I was. At the end of the semester I saw him again while I was out and sure enough, he didn't even recall meeting me. (Back then I'd foolishly keep hope alive for months when it was obvious my crush wasn't interested. Plus I was too afraid to make a move, or let anyone know how I felt.)

OK, I do have a point. I was very quiet and shy (still am), but if I had another chance, I'd take a few more risks. If you don't approach this guy he may never ask you out. Ask him if he'd like to go rollerblading or something, feel him out, see if he's into it. With any luck, he'll take the initiative, and get your phone number. If not, don't sweat it, follow through yourself. Then if he doesn't reciprocate after you two have hung out, I'd assume he's not interested. But you might get a new friend out of it -- it's worth a shot!

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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