Squirtonline's advice columnista now updates twice a week! What she doesn't have in training, she's got in heart (but still, take her advice with a grain of salt.)

Today's Column: More problems with the opposite sex.

 

Dear Chloe,

There is this guy I like and we're like, best friends, I've known him since first grade and I did kinda have a little crush on him then, now when I see him my feelings for him are stronger, but I'm scared to tell him because I don't what he'll say and things might get awkward...sometimes I tell my friends that I don't like him, they just say I'm in denial and they can see that I like him when I'm around him....he also sends mixed signals and tells me things that make me think that he likes me, but I don't know if he really means it...he tells me most of his girl problems...I wish I could tell him "why are you still looking? The girl you're looking for is right here!"...It's weird because I see signs that lead towards and are related to him, like coincidences, especially when I'm trying to get over him because I think that he doesn't like me and why should I even bother...I just want to know if he likes me or will he like me or should I just move on and keep looking? Please help!

Sincerely,

Desperately hopeless, confused, lonely girl

 

Dear Desp,

Sweet Chicka asked a similar question.

Without specifics it's hard to pin down whether this guy is interested or not. Best friends often develop crushes on each other, but sometimes when you're friends for that long, one of you gets stuck in the dreaded "Buddy Zone."

I think you should go for it. Why can't you tell him what you told me, about the girl of his dreams being right in front of his face? If things don't work out, or if you don't have the stomach to tell him how you feel, it'll be next to impossible to get over him unless you distance yourself.

 

Dear Chloe,

I went out with this guy with a bunch of friends and I'm not sure he digs me. Once we were in the cinema, he quickly sat next to me and kept offering me popcorn cause I didn't have any. A lot of girls call him while he's at home so I wasn't sure whether he likes me as a friend or something more...do you get what I mean ?

Sincerely,

Spliff

 

Dear Spliff,

Well, those are good signs, certainly. I wouldn't worry about who is calling him at home. I wouldn't worry so much about whom he's calling, either, as long as one of the people he's calling is...you.

 

Dear Chloe,

Hi, I am not a very shy kind of person, but I don't know many girls because I don't know what to talk about and I personally feel that she might be getting bored in my company, so I leave them alone. I am not a very handsome guy but above average guy who doesn't like to stick with girls when I am not wanted.What should I do? How do I make new girl friends?

Sincerely,

sabhyasingal

 

Dear sab,

First of all, don't assume that girls are going to be bored in your company. You're checking yourself out of the game before it even starts. Have a little confidence in yourself. One squirty reader wrote in to say that it's a lot easier to assume that a girl likes you, rather than driving yourself crazy deciphering body language and so on. If she turns you down, who cares? Wipe the egg off your face and try again. The more risks you take, the easier it gets.

Secondly, to make new girl friends, you have to go where the girls are - afterschool activities and such. This shows you share a common interest, it's a low pressure situation, and it gives you things to talk about. Other topics of conversation are classes, teachers, tests, mutual friends, movies, sports, video games, tv shows, places you've been, pets, current events, music, books, a favorite web site or something cool you've seen on the internet. Anything, really - the same stuff you talk about with your guy friends. Stuff you do in your free time is a safe area, too, but never try to strike up a convo with, "What are your hobbies?" And it's probably best not to talk about other girls, unless they are mutual friends.

Make sure you do more listening than talking. Asking questions is the best way to get a shy person to talk to you, especially in a group sitch. They'll be so grateful that you included them in the conversation because they tend to be ignored if they don't speak up on their own. Which they won't. You'll score major points, trust me.

 

Dear Chloe,

I have a major problem...This guy that I have liked ever since fifth grade and I have been going out/talking for over 4 years...He'll tell me how much he loves me and there is no one else for him...but when we don't talk for a 3 days, I hear from my friends that he was making out with some chick! I love him with all my heart, but I don't think that I can take all this drama...What should I do?

Sincerely,

Sweetiey

 

Dear Swee,

Either your friends are lying, or he is...and I'm not betting it's your friends. Give this guy his walking papers.

 

Dear Chloe,

There's a guy I knew for awhile and I really want to find out if he likes me. Could you help?

Sincerely,

slimshadysgrl

 

Dear slim,

Check out the Squirtonline survey, How To Tell If Someone Likes You.

I've said this before, I think it's a waste of time to wonder whether someone likes you or not. If he doesn't get your phone number and eventually ask you out, what difference does it make?

You could grab the bull by the horns and ask him for a date first. If he says yes, he likes you! It really is that simple.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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