Squirtonline's advice columnista now updates twice a week! What she doesn't have in training, she's got in heart (but still, take her advice with a grain of salt.)

Today's Column: More problems with the opposite sex.

 

Dear Chloe,

I recently went on a retreat with my fellow classmates and we stayed at an AWESOME house. Anyway there's this one guy that I really started to like and here's what basically happened between us:

Whenever he had the chance he would hit me with something like a stone or a stick or a cue stick or something like that. And after a while I got somewhat "annoyed" (not really but I was curious) and I asked him if he was flirting with me or if he just enjoyed hitting me...of course he gave the latter as his answer. That night we "mature" young adults were playing hide and go seek and this guy stubbed his toe while he was running and went outside to lay down on the hammock and listen to his music. After about a half hour, I couldn't stand it anymore so I went out there and laid down with him. It was a little weird but we ended up talking and it was cool, a few minutes later he asked me to lay down with my head on the same side of the hammock as his to listen to music and I did...we laid down and listened to music together, (he put his headphones on his shoulder so we could both hear the music) and a little while later he put his baseball cap on my head (but mind you this is no ordinary baseball cap, he's worn it every day for the last 3 years and he loves it! He told me to feel special because he had never let any girl wear it before). ..umm (YESSS!) and afterwards we went upstairs to watch a movie with the rest of the people (6 others). I laid down on the floor and he came and laid down next to me on his sleeping bag -- throughout the movie it seemed to me that he kept trying to come in closer so I finally asked him if I could put my head on his shoulder and he said sure...and then all of us fell asleep and we went to our beds.

Through what I have told you so far -- to me it's pretty obvious that he was flirting. But what gets me is when we went to the van to go climbing, during the ride he paid absolutely NO attention to me, if I asked him a question I'd have to ask twice to get a reply and there was absolutely NOTHING. And when we got to the climbing site everyone else decided that they wanted to go climbing except for the two of us (we wanted to repel). So they went and we had to wait for our guide. (But we waited about 200 feet above an enormous forest on a cliff -- it was BEAUTIFUL) and at some point he ended up laying down on my legs and then we got closer to the edge and I ended up laying down on his stomach and we stayed like this for a good hour. And then we repeled and when we got back down with everyone else AGAIN -- nothing. He would even make fun of me and all that stuff. And he was for the most part rude -- i.e. if I asked him to change the channel on the TV he would say no -- and just be plain difficult. I'm new at this school and I really wanted to know what's going on and if this guy likes me or not..

Oh, and another guy that went on the trip (I know for sure that he likes me.) Maybe I'm not so sure about the one I told you about because I'm trying to convince myself that he doesn't like me).... help

Sincerely,

Sparky

 

Dear Sparky,

I'd say he digs you.

He sounds a little immature; most guys are at his age. (And when they're older.) Guys are like rubber bands -- they'll get close, then pull away unexpectedly...but then they come back. When he's giving you the chilly shoulder, just be cool and wait it out. Give him space. He'll snap back sooner or later.

I don't know about guy #2. It should have been clear to anyone at the retreat that you were into guy #1.

 

Dear Chloe,

It's Amanda again. I asked that guy I like to couple and he agreed. After a week, I felt like breaking up with him and I did. Actually, I started to have feelings for another guy but I am so worried guy #1 will find out who it is. I told him that my parents knew about us and we have to break up. I don't mean to let him down, but I really don't have any idea how to break up with him. Tell me what to do!!

Sincerely,

Amanda

 

Dear Amanda,

I am shocked and amazed. After all that melodrama, you changed your mind a few days later. If you're going to break up with someone, just be kind and firm about it. His feelings are going to get hurt no matter what you do. I'd think twice before coupling with another guy so soon. You need time alone to reflect on what you want, or else you're just going to have one wrecked week-long relationship after another.

 

Dear Chloe,

There's this guy I really like named Brandon, but I don't know if he likes me, too. He's my brother's friend. Well anyways, he came over to my house and was hanging out with my brother. I went outside to play basketball, then he and my brother came outside to lift weights in the garage. I was still playing basketball when Brandon asked my brother, "Do you wanna play basketball?" I don't know if he asked my brother that so he could play basketball with me or if he just wanted to play basketball with my brother.

And every time he comes around I can't keep myself from smiling and he smiles, too. But I don't know if he smiles just to be polite or because he really likes me. And Brandon is not a shy person but he doesn't talk a lot.

PLEASE HELP ME, I need to know if he likes me or not and if he does, what should I do.

There's this guy I like named Jeremy. I told my friend and I wanted to know if he likes me, too. So in math class, she went up to him and told him, "I know who likes you," and he said "Who," and she told him it was me and he said, "Dang! That chick's hot!" And every time I walk past him he turns around and looks at me and I know my friend didn't lie about him saying that because all the kids from the math class came up to me and kept telling me Jeremy said you were hot in math class. But he has a girlfriend and I kinda think he wants to break up with her and go out with me and I wanna go out with him but I don't know what to do. What do I do.

Sincerely,

Chelsea

 

Dear Chelsea,

Well, aren't you the vixen.

I like how you didn't say that Jeremy had a girlfriend til the very end. Because that is sort of important. I keep saying this over and over - poaching is not cool. And why isn't it cool to steal somebody's boyfriend? Since this isn't Honor and Integrity 101, let's just say that what goes around comes around.

So as far as Jeremy goes, what more can you do? He knows you like him, and he's in a relationship already. If he breaks up with his girlfriend, great (for you).

And what happened to Brandon? He might feel weird dating his friend's sister. Why don't you make an effort to talk to him when he comes over? Unless he has a girlfriend, too.

 

Dear Chloe,

I have a problem. I'm really not used to all the attention I am getting from guys this year...Three guys like me this year...and I don't know what to do!!

There's this guy, Tom...I like him a lot, and he likes me too, but he also doesn't seem like a good boyfriend type, because he's not that open.. you know? And then there's Quinton. We liked each other last year for a while, but never did anything about it, I realized what a player he is, and just really wanted to be his friend, but lately he and I have been getting closer, and to tell you the truth, I like it...He finally kissed me last night, I have been waiting for that kiss for EVER!! But, to tell you the truth, I wasn't too happy about it. Then There's Mitch...Mitch is a good guy, but he's sorta strange.. I dunno what to do, Chloe!!

Sincerely,

Princess Maria

 

Dear Prin,

What's the problem? I'd date all three of them, and pick the one or two I liked best. Let's see what you've got here.

Tom: You're not even giving Tom a chance. Maybe he's not ready to open up to you, yet. If you're dating for a while and he's still clammed up, then sure, I could see how this would make him not-so-good boyfriend material. But at this stage it's too early to tell.

Quinton: I don't get it, girlie. You say you've been waiting for his kiss forever, but when it finally happened, you weren't too happy about it. Is there no pleasing you?

Mitch: Strange can be good...and it can be a sign of mental illness. Spend a little more time with him and you should be able to tell the difference.

 

Dear Chloe,

My family recently threw a party, and one of my friends and her brother were invited. Her brother is 18 and I'm 14. I really like him, though. All of my friends think he likes me, too, because whenever he told my friend to do something, I'd tell him to get it himself and he'd look at me and smile. They also say that I should go out with him but I think it would be kinda weird going out with my friend's brother whom I've known my whole life. What do you think? Does he like me?

Sincerely,

kitty

 

Dear kitty,

I guess so. It's hard to tell based on what you told me.

A four-year age difference is no big thing, except when one of you is 14 and one of you is 18. Then it's somewhat inappropriate, since he's already out of high school.

It's tricky dating someone you've grown up with. I had a crush on one of my brother's friends for years and years. I even told him about it. But it would have been, like, incestuous. My point is that there are some circumstances under which you have to let a good one go.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

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