Squirtonline's advice columnista now updates twice a week! Tell Chloe what's troubling you (but take her advice with a grain of salt.)

Today's Column: Problems with the opposite sex, part VII.

 

Dear Chloe,

Well, there is this guy. We talk on the phone 3-4 times a week and we went out to eat a couple of times. He has met my parents and I have been to his house. Sometimes it seems he wants me around, sometimes it seems he doesn't. It seems his roomates are more important, but when he is mad at his roomates he calls me and tells me how mad he is at them. Also, he goes out of town every week to different places and says, "I'll call you when I get back."

Sincerely,

Triethmayer

 

Dear Tri,

What's your question? I assume you want to know if this guy likes you. From where I'm standing, it looks like you've got yourself a guy-friend, not a boyfriend.

I don't know if you two have been intimate or not, but it doesn't look very promising that he's out of town every week - without you.

 

Dear Chloe,

I really like this guy, ok, but he has a girlfriend. Recently they have been having problems and falling out, etc. We are really flirty with each other and we go to the cinema together and to the pub. Do you think I should tell him how I feel? Or do you think that he will stop talking to me? I am soooo confused.

Sincerely,

cooshty

 

Dear Coo,

I don't condone pursuing another girl's boyfriend. And just because he's having problems with his girlfriend, this is not an opportunity for you to make a move. He's in no position to start another relationship -- so your plans could backfire and you'd end up losing him as a friend, too. I just don't think it's cool to try to steal someone's boyfriend when she's trusting him to hang out with you.

 

Dear Chloe,

My name is Mario. I am in the eleventh grade and I like this girl who goes to my school. She is in the twelfth grade and when I first laid eyes on her I was like, she's the one for me. I wrote her a letter and a poem and I asked her out in the letter that I wrote her. She said that she isn't looking for a boyfriend right now because she just ended a relationship recently. She and I started to get to know each other more and more and when she talks to me, we make eye contact and I feel that she likes me and maybe she's ready to date again. Can you give me some advice about this because I really like this girl. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Mario

 

Dear Mario,

I like how you actually took a risk and wrote this girl a letter and a poem. Many people do nothing for years and years.

The thing about girls is that we change our mind a lot. So keep spending time with her - if you think she's ready, you may be right. Just don't pressure her because that's a big turnoff.

 

Dear Chloe,

Alright, so there's this girl I like a lot. I looked for some of these clues that are supposed to tell you if they might be interested in you and there are a lot that indicate that she might like me. Whenever we lock eyes we smile, she always makes eye contact with me when we talk, she usually will cock her head to one side, we always have a fun time when we are together, and she never seems bored or urgent to do something else that doesn't involve me. I always manage to make her laugh when she's having a bad day. I've known her for about four years so I know her really well. She's probably my first love. I mean, I've liked a lot of girls, but not as much as I like her. I get that vibe whenever I'm around her, but I would feel stupid if I asked her out and she turned me down. She's 19 and I'm 18. Her current boyfriend is a psychotic asshole who annoys me. To me, I think we would be a great couple. We never fight or argue and I would love to take her out and show her a great time. That's on my mind 24/7. She, her brother and I are gonna move in together by the end of this year...so maybe then I'll have a chance to get with her. I just know that I'm nice as hell to her.

I remember last year we went up to Six Flags in Chicago and some guys wanted to talk to her after the ride we were waiting in line to get on. We wanted the front row so it took us a lot longer to wait. They weren't there when we got off because they were off the ride about 15 minutes before we even got on so she was pretty bummed. Next thing you know, I won her a 4 ft. Scooby Doo stuffed animal and that put a smile back on her face. I wasted 60 bucks trying to win her a stuffed animal. I'm not lying either. 60 bucks! On what seemed like impossible games to win, but it was worth it. And I didn't even care about that 60 bucks. Maybe I'm just a sucker, but it feels good to do something for her. The only things wrong with her are that she has some major mood swings, and she's got that dipsy vibe about her. Sometimes it seems like she doesn't think stuff through. She is always saying how hot some guy is right in front of me as if she wants to see how I would react. And when it comes to stairs, she'll always run up them before me just to put her big booty right in my face. Sometimes it seems like she will give me a signal or something and she wants me to put a move on, but I would feel way too ridiculous if I did and she rejected me. If you have any suggestions or anything...please help me out. I could use some good info.

Sincerely,

Colon361

 

Dear Col,

Sure, you guys don't fight, because there's no pressure when you're just friends. Besides, you're always being so nice to her.

Mood swings are very stressful. I don't think you're being very realistic. You've got this girl on a pedestal, and you're imagining a happily ever after when you move in together (I'm not sure this is a good idea, either, but whatever). What happens if things don't work out the way you want them too? How are going to deal with her boyfriend staying over?

I think it's time you sucked it up and tell her how you feel. If she rejects you, so what? At least you're not wasting any more time and energy pursuing something that isn't going anywhere. And I'd really think twice before moving in with her. It's hard enough adjusting to new roommates - it's true, you don't know someone until you've lived with him or her - but to add sex to the mix makes things way too complicated.

 

Dear Chloe,

I like this guy named Josh and I guess I knew him in kindergarten. I used to go to his birthday parties and I would be the only girl there because he liked me, but after kindergarten he went to a different school and I didn't see him for over ten years. A few days ago, I was talking to him and he told me all these things about going to school together, and now (ten years later) I like him. He knew who I was for a while before he told me and I didn't remember him at all but I was wondering if he still liked me. He always plays around in P.E., he'll throw the ball at me or joke around with me and I am the total class clown and he and I joke around all the time. Lately, after I told him I liked him, he sort of backed off and doesn't really talk to me any more except when I talk to him. Is this maybe because he also likes me or does he just want to back off and be friends?

Sincerely,

hotflyachic

 

Dear hot,

I guess you found out the hard way that things change over ten years.

If he liked you, wouldn't it be lame for him to back off now that he knows you dig him? Treat him as a friend for now. Don't always be the one to approach him - let him approach you first.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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