Chloe's so sorry she's waaay behind with her column. Please be patient, she'll get to all of your questions eventually!

Today's Column: Boys asking about girls and...vice versa!

 

Dear Chloe,

I have this question that I really need help on. I hope you can help me out. Well, there's this guy in my school, let's call him Kevin. So I don't know him, I only know his name. But then one day at recess when I saw him playing a game, I mentioned that he's so good. Then a guy named Alex heard it and started saying that I liked him. Even Kevin thinks I like him but I don't, I like another guy in his class. So the question that I need help on is, should I go up to Kevin and tell him that I don't like him? Please help me out.

Sincerely,

Phoebe

 

Dear Phoebe,

No, I wouldn't go up to any guy just to tell him that you don't like him. It's rude, and it's silly, and it'll make you look selfish and self-absorbed. And he probably won't believe you anyway.

If anyone says anything, just blow it off, shrug or act bored or say "Whatever." That takes all the fun out of teasing someone.

 

Dear Chloe,

My husband is very good looking, and he has women who flirt with him constantly. Most of them are harmless, but there are a couple that make me nervous with their actions. I have tried to talk to him about this many times, but he just tells me that I don't trust him and gets mad. He doesn't see what these women are doing, so he thinks I'm just being paranoid. He doesn't realize how much their actions hurt me, because they will do their flirting right in front of me. Is there any way that I can make him understand how serious this is to me? And is there any way I can ever get this to stop?

Thanks!

Sincerely,

Laurie

 

Dear Laurie,

I hate to be all, "that's what you get when you marry a hottie," but you know there are wenches out there who like to freak on someone else's guy. And normally I don't have a problem with flirting, but to do it in front of you just shows a horrifying lack of class. As if that's any consolation.

I totally see your point, but I see his, too. And I'm not sure if it's different for guys than girls. I mean, the chick's point of view is that your husband is being kind of a jerk to you because he digs the attention. He doesn't get that it's not a trust issue, it's a respect issue. But is it possible that you are overreacting because he truly believes it's inconsequential and not worth arguing over? I don't know, I'm just saying.

As long as he's not coming home with phone numbers in his pocket, I'm not sure what you can do. The only person who can stop the flirting is your husband. Like, what guy isn't going to dig all that attention, married or not? I would try to roll with it. I'm sure some of these girls enjoy making you squirm, so if you act as if you're unconcerned, it's a not-so-subtle slap in their face that says you don't consider them much of a threat. Which I think is the coolest way to handle it.

I know where you're coming from girlfriend...but the only thing you have control over is your reaction. I'd hate to see this become a "big thing." Think of it as a compliment -- these women are only pointing out that you have good taste! Really really try to laugh it off, and maybe later you'll be able to calmly explain to your husband why his lack of respect bothers you so much.

 

Dear Chloe,

OK, there is this guy I like a lot, but I don't think I want to become more than friends because I'm afraid he might act differently, for example: I like it when he flirts and jokes around with me and if we date he would act differently, I think. What should I do? Another thing is that he always flirts with me...plays with my hair, always bumps his arm into mine during class, talks to me nonstop, pokes me in my sides and other stuff. But, my friend just told me that he always flirts with her and Chelsea during music class. What should I do? I'm sooo confused!

Sincerely,

angelhart

 

Dear angelhart,

If you don't want to be more than friends, than what difference does it make who he flirts with?

Some guys just enjoy flirting and never make a move. Make up your mind first. If you decide that you do want to take things further, ask him out. Sure, he might behave differently, but hopefully it will be good different. And in any case, he's entitled to flirt with whomever he wants.

 

Dear Chloe,

I like this really beautiful girl, she's smart, fun to talk to, a great person, and really cool. I've been calling her and we have good conversations on the phone. I try to talk to her at school and she talks back to me some at school but she sure acts like she doesn't like me. She once asked me what do I like in a girl? And I said a good personality, smart, beautiful, and then I said a girl that's not desperate to me. After that, it feels as if she doesn't care for me at all, so I called her and said "Hey, I honestly like you and I am attracted to the person you are .I'm getting mixed feelings from you." She said I feel the same way about you but I want to know you more. Then I was like, ok, cool, but when I see her, I don't know if she's playing hard to get or what? Confusing girl life I have. Should I give up? I like this girl, but I need input on what to do.

Sincerely,

Dazed and confused

 

Dear Dazed,

Give up on what? You haven't done anything yet.

Why don't you, say, ask her out on a real date? Dude, she told you she was interested and that she wanted to get to know you. That means she wants to spend more time with you. Chatting her up on the phone and in school is nice and all, but I think it's time you made some kind of move - she's probably wondering what the heck you're waiting for!

 

Dear Chloe,

Well, my boyfriend has cheated on me, and I found out through a mutual friend. He owned up to it and I forgave him because I love him a lot. Was I wrong to just forgive so easily? I don't know if he will do it again. I don't think he would because I told him that I would then go for other men and I wouldn't be faithful. I'm an attractive girl and he sees the way men look at me, and he hates it. I just don't know where this relationship is going because I'm going into such drastic truces. I never used to let men walk over me like this. Am I mad or really in love?

Sincerely,

Torn-Apart-Heart

 

Dear Torn,

It's hard to trust someone after he's betrayed you. It's never wrong to forgive, but have you? If you're threatening to hurt him? Not really a sign of healthy relationship.

If he sincerely regrets what he did and you can trust him, then try to work things out. He's going to have to control his jealousy, a useless and dangerous emotion. If you can't trust him, then end the relationship. Forget about the revenge, just leave.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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