Chloe's so sorry she's waaay behind with her column. Unfortunately, she gets too many questions to answer each one. Chances are someone has already asked the same or a similar question, so check the archives or "How to Tell if Someone Likes You."

Today's Column: Boys asking about girls and...vice versa!

 

Dear Chloe,

See, there is this guy who is totally into me, but I'm not into him. He sends signals that he is interested in me, and that he likes me a lot. He has asked me out four times already. The only one time he asked me out was on msn (chit chat). I said no. He says that he really likes me, and that he really thinks that I'm really hot. But I don't feel the same way about him. He asked me 'please give me a chance.' After that, I was struck by lightning. Probably I should give him a chance to see what he is doing wrong. But before I go out with him, I already know what he is doing wrong -- he's just not my type that I should be around with when I need someone.. Now, I'm really sad, because of the way he said 'please, why don't you give me a chance.' Even though we were chatting, I could feel his feeling over the keyboard... What should I do?

Sincerely,

Ann

 

Dear Ann,

Instead of all this pointless speculation, why not give the guy a shot? If you approach him now, I'm sure he would be very grateful.

Invite him to hang out with your friends if you're not sure you want to be alone with him. It can't hurt to spend some time with him...maybe he knows something you don't...right now.

 

Dear Chloe,

A few months ago I met this great guy at my church youth group thing. The only problem is he's 23 and I just turned 17. So yeah, that's really a huge age difference! Besides that, he's a highly respected man at church, everyone knows and loves him. Well last night we were having a church bible study and after we played ping pong for like an hour and he kept flirting and smiling and the whole night was just wounderful. I just want to know what I should do because he is older I'm underage and he's highly respected in our community...but I really do think he likes me...even so I don't know if I should like him at this time or not, I could probably ruin everything. Should I just wait a year?

Sincerely,

hotNfresh

 

Dear hot,

It's not really that big of an age difference, but it seems that way because you're not legal.

It's hard to schedule liking someone, but I think your instincts are very good. It does seem better if you could hang out with guys closer to your age for now.

A 23-yr-old man has different priorities than a 17-yr-old. It wouldn't be too hard for him to manipulate you, and I'd hate to see that happen. He should know better, too.

 

Dear Chloe,

I just found out that my crush likes this one girl..and she likes him..but doesn't want to go out with him because it'll mess up her "pimp" status. Should I still pursue this guy..or forget about him...cuz it really hurts..

Sincerely,

supersweetangel

 

Dear super,

Yah, stay the heck away from the both of them, you'll just set yourself up for more hurting if you don't. When your crush likes someone else, the only way to deal is to keep your distance. It totally sucks and we've all been there.

And I have to plead ignorance on what a girl's "pimp" status is and why she'd want to protect it. If someone wants to clue me in, I'd be grateful.

 

Dear Chloe,

Iíve been friends with a girl I really like for a long time. Iím fairly certain that she knows I really like her, one of her best friends knows and even gets a kick out of giving me a hard time when no one else is around. Yet it seems as if every time I make a serious move I get really confusing messages. For example: when I did actually summon up enough courage to ask her out (albeit quite half-assed), she said no. I thought that was it, yet a few days later she was acting like nothing happened, giving me the same smiles, pats on the back, etc. In school she seems to have no problem interacting with me, even asking me to tutor her in Stat. I first thought that she was just using me to help her grades (although I didnít really mind), but then she told everyone I was tutoring her and made certain for us to meet at a location where everyone would walk past and see us together. I thought it might be a good time to try to take our friendship to the next level, however, at a recent party when I tried to do just that and talk to her one on one, it felt as if every time I walked into the room, she was bolting out of there. She sometimes drops little flirtatious hints, like mentioning the creation of a photo spread of the two of us in the yearbook (sheís photo editor), but never follows through on any of them and it seems that if one of her friends comes by while weíre talking I get immediately pushed to a much lower priority. Her body language is also confusing, sometimes she scoots up and sits close to me (like when weíre studying), she sometimes stretches in front of me, or simply makes contact to say hi, yet when I try to do similar motions, she always backs away as if Iím doing something wrong. Anyway, Iím at a loss as to what to do. Iíve tried all the usual things, trying to bring up more personal topics when we spend time talking (she avoids, and we change the subject if anything personal comes up), inviting her to out-of-school events such as when I got free tickets to Two Weeks Notice for the New York premier (she said she had no interest in the movie), or simply to go to the park. However, for in-school activities, like hanging out, or going to various clubs, etc. she is great company. I really donít want to lose her friendship, but would greatly like it if she would become my girlfriend.

Have I just crossed the threshold where she and I can only be friends? Am I overanalyzing everything? Could there be some obvious reason she would purposefully not allow a relationship to develop? Or is it just that I have really lousy timing?

Thanks for any help.

Sincerely,

scott

 

Dear scott,

Why are you letting this selfish girl play you? Clearly she is not interested in a relationship. Consider yourself lucky -- trust me, things would just get worse, much worse. She likes the attention...sometimes. Until someone else comes along. I'm guessing it's a status thing. But who cares what the reason is? This chick is bad news. If I were you I wouldn't be too concerned about salvaging this friendship, because she's not really your friend.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You haven't done anything wrong, she's a jerk. I'd back off and stop giving her so much attention. Find someone who appreciates you.

 

Dear Chloe,

I have a major crush on this guy. I can't really tell if he is interested in me or not. Well, he sits at my study hall table at school and we talk every day. He looks into my eyes when we talk and he smiles all the time. He messes around with my books (draws on them and stuff). One day I told him I was going to the movies and he is like, "Well I want to go, but I don't have anyone to go with..." I didn't say anything back to him. Another time he asked me if I have seen the movie Mr Deeds, and I said, no and he is like, well you should come over and watch it sometime. We both really like Harry Potter stuff and he told me that I should come over and look at all the Harry Potter stuff he has in his room. He also has called me 2 times to talk about really nothing at all mostly music, movies stuff like that. So do you think he likes me. Thank you so so much!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

Alysa

 

Dear Alysa,

Obviously he likes you. Why would he do all of those things if he didn't? Guys (or girls) don't spend time with people they're not interested in. Aww, he sounds so cute.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

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