Chloe's so sorry she's waaay behind with her column. Unfortunately, she gets too many questions to answer each one. Chances are someone has already asked the same or a similar question, so check the archives or "How to Tell if Someone Likes You."

Today's Column: Boys asking about girls and...vice versa!

 

Dear Chloe,

I'm 17 and in the 12th grade and I have liked this guy for 3 years and it seems like he has been liking me just as long as I've been liking him. It started when we were in the ninth grade and he had a crush on me first. He sat next to me in class every day, he touched me and flirted with me every day. Then he got his friend to tell me that he liked me. But I was too shy to let him know that I felt the same so nothing happened between us. Then the next school year, he said hi to me in the hallway and walked next to me in silence and then the next day I said hi to him and then he came up and started talkin to me a few days later, so I thought he still liked me. So then I got one of my friends to ask him out for me and he said he didn't want a girlfriend. But, the next day, his best friend was asking me how I felt about him and his best friend was askin my friend if I really liked the guy and stuff like that. His best friend would not tell me if the guy liked me or not. He wouldn't say yes or no. Then when I would see my crush in the hallway, he wouldn't look at me at all. So we stopped talking and my crush got a girlfriend but he would still stare at me in the hallway.

The next year we never talked until one day when we were in the hallway by ourselves and he was playin around with me and said hi to me. I took that as a message that he still was interested in me but he was still going out with that girl. Later on he dumped that girl. This year when we were in the hallway, he waved at me and I didn't wave back because I am a very shy person and it caught me off guard. I think that he thinks that I will turn him down again if he were to ask me out. He still does little things when it is just me and him to make me think he still likes me even though he does have another girlfriend. It's weird how he treats me. At a hotel party that we went to, he laid down next to me but he wouldn't say anything to me. More recently in the library at school I was doing work by myself and when he walked in and saw me, as he was walking, he kept looking back at me and to me that is not normal unless he still likes me. Please, tell me what I should think about this.

Sincerely,

JuelzSGrrl

 

Dear J,

Please, stop it. You've liked this guy for three years, but you refuse to do anything about it. What do you want me to tell you? It sounds like he might be interested, but you've given him nothing to go on. If you like him, instead of having someone else ask him out for you, which is SO LAME, ask him out yourself. I can't read another letter from someone who won't help himself or herself. All this crap about this person said this and that person said that and blah blah blah. So he said hi a few times over the past three years. So freaking what? Throw the poor dude a bone already. Have an actual conversation. Stop analyzing every move he makes.

 

Dear Chloe,

I really like your columns especially the ones on relationships; what a witty take on stuff. I run a website myself, it's new and I am trying to educate the guys now (harder than I thought since they question everything) Anyhow,just wanted to wish you luck!

Sincerely,

sonnymag

 

Dear sonny,

Thanks! I needed that. Now back to our regular programming...

 

Dear Chloe,

I've had a crush on this guy for a long time now. We would occasionally flirt and stuff like that but one day he told me that he liked me, too. There's only one problem, though, he also told me that he has a girlfriend and that if he didn't, he would have wanted to date me. He even said that in the future if I'm not taken we could try out the whole dating thing. Well, I'm a little confused because why would he tell me this since he has a girlfriend or is this just a polite way of brushing me off.

Sincerely,

Distressed

 

Dear Distressed,

You're confused, he's confused, I'm confused. It's hard for me to say what's going on with this guy as I'm not acquainted with his relationship. Guys aren't just attracted to one girl, they may like lots of other girls. What guy wouldn't want to have girlfriend plus? I guess it's possible that maybe things aren't going great with his girl and he wants to line someone up for the day after. Or maybe he just likes both of you, but he's going to stay with his girlfriend for now. Or what you said is possible, too.

My personal policy is to stay away from guys with girlfriends. It's the golden rule, really -- I wouldn't want some girl stepping on my relationship and stealing my guy, and a guy who cheats on his girlfriend is probably going to cheat on me.

 

Dear Chloe,

I went out with this girl for about a month two years ago. She started playing games saying she was too busy to go out one night so I broke up with her. I never really got over her though and called her a few times but she never called me back, even though she said she would. Then at Christmas, I sent her a card and she called me right away and told me to call her after the holidays and that we would get together. So I waited until last week and called her but so far she has not called me back. Why does she do this? Do you think she is really interested in me or is this some kind of manipulative game she plays? She sounded so sincere on the phone this last time I thought for sure she was interested. Should I call her again? She seemed really excited to talk to me this last time.

Sincerely,

Confused

 

Dear Confused,

Dude, two years ago? Please, for the luvva Mike, let this one go.

She plays these games because you let her. You've given her plenty of opportunity to reciprocate and she hasn't. End of story. Do not call her unless you want more of the same. She is not interested. Why does anyone do anything? Because she gets something out of making a fool of you. Believe me, she knows exactly what she's doing.

 

Dear Chloe,

Three months ago my boyfriend and I broke up, we were the typical highschool sweethearts (sick, I know, lol) we were together for 3 years in high school and then he moved away and we sadly decided to do the long distance thing for 3 more years, we really tried to make it work but we just grew apart. So we both decided we were better off as friends at this point. Now when we talk I just find it so hard, there's just all these emotions, I've told him that it's awkward for me and he doesn't understand why, I'd really like to be his friend but my question is, how do I get over this so that I can do that? Is it even possible to make this work? Thanks for any advice.

Sincerely,

Nikki

 

Dear Nikki,

Well of course it's hard, you invested a lot in this relationship and I would be very surprised if you didn't have a lot of emotions running wild.

I don't know if you can remain friends...but you know what you have to do. You have to completely cut off contact with him. It's the only way to get over him, otherwise you're continually picking at a scab that will keep bleeding. If he doesn't understand that, and I don't see how he can't, that's just too bad. You have to heal yourself first. I'm guessing he just doesn't want to let go of you, either. It may take awhile, but it will get better.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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