Chloe gets too many questions to answer each one. Chances are someone has already asked the same or a similar question, so check the archives or "How to Tell if Someone Likes You."

Today's Column: Another double length column! I've been crushing on my popular coworker, my boyfriend's brother digs me, my boyfriend is back with his girlfriend, insecure engaged women.

 

Dear Chloe,

I have been working at a grocery store for about two and a half years now and it gets really boring at times. I'm 17 right now, and basically, if it weren't for a year and a half ago, I wouldn't be working there anymore.

About a year into it, I am so close to quitting, until we get a new cashier, someone that I haven't seen before in my whole life. Our eyes met and hers sparkled for a second. This moment was really something, it must have lasted for about 3 seconds, but it seemed that she was lost or something, and I felt the same way.

Well, I still have a crush on her to this day. This isn't just a crush. I don't think of her as I have about any other girl. I want her to be happy, yet, it's so hard. She plays mind games with me, and calls my name from far away just to say hi at times. She doesn't do this to other people, I don't think. ARGH -- I can't explain this.

OK, this is tough. SIGH!!! She goes to a Catholic school and I have a really good friend who knows her. She went to a party with her at her school and basically, my crush didn't know I knew my friend. My friend told her that she knew me, and that I was 'cool' and my crush responds with 'yea, he's cool'. I DUNNO WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!! Like...omg....I need help.

I'm guessing she said this because:

She's been playing a mind game with me the whole time,

or,

She use to like me but now doesn't,

or,

She just tells that to my friend to make it seem like she doesn't like me.

I don't get this. Like, Christmas is coming up, I want to get her a gift. The thing is, my friend told me she has a boyfriend for a long time now. She keeps going out for coffee with this guy at work. A lot of guys like her there. This guy she goes to coffee with is such a jackass too, (sorry for the language and sentence structure, I just can't stop thinking about her). SIGH!!!!!!

JEEZ

OK, so my plan is, I wanna get her, like, a bracelet and a gift certificate for Starbucks, since she always goes there. PLEASE, I need advice, I need info on how to approach with the gift, IF I should give it to her. Thanks a bunch :)

Sincerely,

someguy

 

Dear someguy,

Whoa, let's all take a deep breath there, man.

You've got me scratching my head on this one. I don't know enough about your interaction with this girl, such as, have you actually had conversations with her, or are you just looking at her longingly from the express lane?

And if she agreed that you were cool, why are you taking that as she's been playing games with you or all those other wacky assumptions that you came up with from I don't know where?

We don't always know what someone thinks of us so sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to find out. Now if you read any of my other columns, you know of my no-poaching policy (going after someone else's significant other). However, if she's "the one" I also believe that sometimes you have to lay all your cards on the table, and 18 months is a long time for you to be distracted by this girl. You might get rejected but you'll also feel good about yourself for taking that risk.

I think the Starbuck's certificate is a great gift (and JUST the Starbuck's card. The bracelet is too boyfriendy). It's thoughtful and impersonal at the same time which I believe is perfect for your situation. When you give it to her, say something goofy, like, "Santa is giving these to all the nice girls this year, or, "Santa asked me to give this to you." You need to make more of an effort to get yourself in front of her, like the guy she goes to coffee with.

I hope this works out for you, someguy, I found your letter touching. Good luck!

 

Dear Chloe,

Ok, so I have a little issue, I've met this girl, and she says that she honestly likes me, but she doesn't want a relationship right now. Later she goes back to tell me that part of the reason is that her mom doesn't want her seeing me until she is 18 which is in like two months (I'm 20). She says that she respects her mom's decisions because they are really close and she doesn't want to lose her trust. Now during all of this time we have been talking for the last two months, we talk every night and I still spend a little time with her, mainly with her and her friends, we kiss and stuff on occasion, but my thing is, every girl I have dated before or had a relationship with would never just wait, she would always go for it and this girl doesn't...But when I ignore her for a little bit thinking it would be better for me, she starts calling constantly and stuff to get my attention...So I'm pretty sure that she does like me, but I don't know, she just doesn't show it that often. Is there anything I can do to try to make this really happen? I get this like whole insecurity thing about it right now and I don't like that. She did have me meet her mom last week finally and stuff...but I still don't know where she stands totally, and this probably doesn't make much sense, but how can I actually just get her to admit totally to me and her mom the feelings she has for me?

Sincerely,

Vash

 

Dear Vash,

I'm not really sure what your issue is, the first thing you say is that she admitted that she likes you. Is it such a big deal to wait til she's 18? That would be the most respectful thing you could do and it would impress both her and her mom. Plus it seems you're already kinda hanging out with her anyway. Don't compare her to your other hoochie women who maybe didn't have someone setting some reasonable limits on them.

 

Dear Chloe,

I have been dating my boyfriend for three months, but recently his brother admitted he has feelings for me, and he tried to kiss me. I think I am falling for him actually. I love my boyfriend, but I feel like I'm with the wrong brother. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Dani

 

Dear Dani,

How glamorous. In the annals of Sticky Relationship Situations I imagine the Sibling Switch has been pulled off a time or two, but the odds are against you. It's pretty sleazy the way his brother made a move on you, isn't there some kind of code? Anyway, you have a decision to make, and I don't see this ending well. You break up with the guy and start dating his brother, yet Brother #1 is still going to be around. That's going to be awkward.

 

Dear Chloe,

I am very, very upset. I joined my first job and that's where I met a guy whom I liked a lot. I knew he had a girlfriend and he did not hide that from me as well. We became good friends and then one day I proposed to him and he admitted it. He also told me that he loves me. He was very happy with me because I was able to take the fact that he already has a girlfriend. We lived together for a month in a house. Then he had to go back to another place where his girlfriend is, now also he speaks about her but I am no longer able to accept the fact that he has a girlfriend, it hurts to recollect that he has one. I think I am getting possessive about him. Please advise me as to what can I do about him, I don't want to lose him at all. I don't want to ask him whom does he really love, because I feel that I will lose him if I ever shoot that question...then he will not love me. Very terrible situation I am in.

Sincerely,

DJ Dhanya

 

Dear DJ,

Er, what planet did you say you were from? As far as losing him, you, my dear, are what they call "The Other Woman." Which means you never had him. My advice is to separate yourself from this guy, clear the rocks out of your head and stay away from people's boyfriends. Why do you think I constantly preach against poaching? You walked into this miserable situation with your eyes wide open.

 

Dear Chloe,

Hi, my name is Jeana. I have been with my fiancÚ for five years. Recently he got a promotion at Pizza Hut as a store manager. They sent him to a different Pizza Hut. I think this little blonde order taker has a crush on him. She is always standing beside him when I come to pick him up. She asked him things like "you don't talk much" and laughs a lot around him. Does she like him? Well, I am not threatened, but I want to make her very jealous of us! There are other girls, too, whom I think like him. I want to claim my territory. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Jeana

 

Dear Jeana,

Why not make out with him in the middle of Pizza Hut the next time you pick him up? Good luck with the marriage.

 

Dear Chloe,

Help, I have a huge crush on this girl at the gym. I think she may like me because she sometimes stares at me with a big smile on her face. I have caught her checking me out a few times. Sometimes when a try to make eye contact she will bat her eyes or look away when I look at her. When I am not around she notices that I am absent. Do you think she may like me or is she just being friendly?

Sincerely,

Jim Rat

 

Dear Jim,

What she is doing is called "flirting." Girls, now do you understand why sometimes we have to be the ones to ask these bozos out?

 

Dear Chloe,

I am a 28 year old male, and recently went back to college. I have met a girl there, and instantly developed a crush on her. She is 19, and does not know how old I am (I look about 22). Would it be appropriate to act on this crush? If so, how do I go about this?

Sincerely,

murfdog

 

Dear murf,

A 9-yr. difference is not that big of a deal, I guess, although she is pretty young. I would go for it.

Is she in one of your classes? You didn't tell me how you met her. When I liked a guy in one of my classes I would ask for help. Why not just ask her to coffee? I'm sure you have a student cafe or something similar at your school, a casual place to hang out.

 

Dear Chloe,

There is this really cute boy in two of my classes that I really like. Two guys said that he liked me but I really didn't belive them because I had never really noticed my crush. But still he is showing signs that he likes me by glancing at me quickly before I look at him and sitting by me in my class without giving me an idea that he likes me. I want to talk to him but he is always with his friends talking and if I go talk to him then I will look like a dork because he hangs out with the really popular boys! I also never have a chance to talk to him in the halls because he is always in a hurry to do something. I don't know if he really likes me or if he's just staring at me because I stare at him. It's really hard to know! I also am the new girl at school so I really have no friends that will help me talk to my crush or anything. If you can please help me Chloe, I would really appreciate it!

Sincerely,

flossygal

 

Dear flossygal,

It's definitely hard approaching a popular guy. I think your best bet is to try to talking to him in class. If he sits near you, why not just say "Hi?" Make an effort to talk to him, pretend that you don't like him if you have to. Guys like girls that don't get all hung up and silly in front of them. Take a chance, since you don't know anyone you could use that as an opener and ask for his help in class.

 

Dear Chloe,

I'll start with my past. I had a weird childhood, I never had a dad growing up, I met him when I was 13 ( he has nothing to do with me, he said I was an accident), my mom is never around, I see her like 2 - 5 times a year, she was never around when I was a child ( embarrassed that she had a child at 19). My Grandmother raised me, but she doesn't know how to show love toward her children even after my grandfather died. I searched for love, but I always got rejected in a harsh way and they wouldn't talk to me after that. I'm 20 now, never been in love, no one showed me any love, no motherly love either. I'm aware of what love is and how it makes people happy and alive. That's what I need, I just want to know how to find it, like what to do, how do I cope with this?

Please help me. I just want to end this curse of eternal loneliness.

Sincerely,

Nobody

 

Dear Somebody,

I'm sorry about your childhood, this is a little deep for my usual advicerins. Your parents sound awfully selfish.

It is hard to find love, it usually has a way of finding you, and usually when you are not looking for it. I think you might need to talk to someone who has more experience than I do.

Understand that everyone gets rejected and everyone feels they have been dealt harshly with love. You can't let that stop you from trying again. However, I feel like you have to work on yourself a little bit first. You could try volunteering with kids or animals, they will give you unconditional love and maybe heal some of the wounds you received from your upbringing. Join some kind of club and you will meet people who will have similar interests as yours. Work on developing a circle of friends who will support you, a relationship will come later.

 

Dear Chloe,

I have been seeing this guy for two months and he still does not call me his girlfriend. When I ask what we are he says we are dating...should I stay with him? Is he not really that into me? He seems sweet enough...he makes me dinner...shows me new places in town, etc. But I just don't know if I am wasting my time.

Sincerely,

cwoods

 

Dear c,

It sounds like you are having a good time...It's only been two months, if it were two years then I would say that is a problem. The question is, are you into him? If so, then hang in there.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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