Welcome to Squirtonline.com. Elements stolen with permission from Jeffrey Zeldman, God bless 'im. Don't you do it. Instead, tell me you love me. Lie if you have to.

If this is your first time, check out the archives.

It can't be, but it is! Chloe just posted a new advice column!

We're on Twitter! Now what? We can experiment with answering your questions in lieu of a full blown advice column.

My loan-sharking days are over. Read about The Squirtonline Prosper.com Experiment.

See what I'm selling on eBay!

I like to save money by doing nothing and I thought you might, too. Here are three super easy, painless ways to save hundreds of dollars a year. I'm not talking about cutting coupons or filling out rebate forms (not that there's anything wrong with that.)

I live for spring. If any of you are interested in gardening, I'm documenting my experiments with Mail Order Gardening. If a lazy gardener like me can get these plants to grow, I'm sure they'll flourish in your garden!

New Squirtonline essay! Squirtonline's Life Lessons: The Dating Pre-Game. Tell me what you think!

New Squirtonline survey! How I Asked Out My Crush. Ever do something wacky to get your crush's attention? Did it work? Share the wealth!

How to Tell if Someone Likes You was updated. Newest entries are listed first.

Good gravy, it's a new advice column! This column: Crush advice, friends with benefits, playing hard to get and dangerous liaisons.

Or, check out the Advice Archive. You know you want to. 

The peeps speak. This week: A supernatural tale: The Unwanted Lady. She's no lady! Put your tale here, why don'tcha?

Or, check out the Tales Archive. Who knows what's in there?