Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question.

Today's Column: I'm 97 years old. How can I get some?


Dear Chloe,

I'm a 97 year old male and I was married but I haven't dated since my wife died. I am completely clueless about dating in the 90's. What advice can you give me? (More importantly how can I get some, cause it's been a while)


Lonely in the Down Under


Dear Lonely,

So sorry about your wife.

But here are two words for you, my friend: Nursing Home. Just show up, and the ladies will take it from there. But, if you'd prefer something young and limber, say hello to your new girlfriend.

Hugs and kisses,


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