Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question.

Today's Column: I have a free airline ticket. Where should I go?


Dear Chloe,

So I have this free airline ticket to go anywhere in the world that I want. With such a big world I'm confused. Where should I go?


All Paid Up and Nowhere to Go


Dear Lonely,

Since I'm not worldly, and cannot endure many people who are, I thought this was a job for the Magic Eight Ball.

Is All competent to travel by himself?
Look within.

Should All go to Australia?
Grim outlook.

Should All stay in the States?
Look within.

How about The British Isles?
Look within.



The Caribbean?
Don't ask.

The French Riviera?

Look within.

Not yet.

The Soviet Union?

Any of those countries right next to Russia?

Could he get a private audience with the Pope?
You betcha.

Will I get a good job after completing my programming courses?

You must be joking.

No, really, are you serious?
&^%[email protected] off.

Will there be any terrorist activity onboard All's flight?

If All goes to the Far East, will his arrival have any effect on improving human rights in China?
You betcha.

Will All have a good time, wherever he goes?
Ask later.

OK, All, I've had enough of this. You can always ask the Magic Eight Ball yourself.

Hugs and kisses,


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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