Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question.

This Column: Chloe says, RELAX.


Dear Chloe,

I'm scared of the future, I don't think I am going to get in to college, I have started to worry about my weight, social status and other things that have never bothered me before; I think I lost my confidence; what do I do???




Dear spankamonkey,

Whoa, young dude, WHOA. It's not easy to forget how sucky teenagedom can be, even when you're no longer a teenager, yet have a whole bunch of new probs to deal with. I'm still harboring leftover teenage angst on top of my adult angst, so I know where you're coming from. Everyone feels self-doubt at some point. Everyone will freak out, so just go ahead. Freak. Out.

OK, but eventually you will have to come up for air, so let me get this part out of the way: as much as I hate to give you typical advice-column type advice, even BreakupGirl will do that on occasion. In this case she would say something like, "get a hobby" or "volunteer" or "join a club" or at the very least "find something that interests you." Boring advice, but it's the best way to get your mind off yourself. It's a cinch to get all angsted-up when you're thinking about and worrying about yourself. But if you develop some healthy distractions, you'll be too busy to waste your time thinking about this other stuff, which is just negative self-talk. I can't tell you how to be popular, but I can tell you that you won't feel better if you try to be someone you're not.

As far as getting into college, your best bet is to schedule some time with your school's guidance counselor. They're usually pretty easy to talk to, and they have a lot of experience with helping freaked-out students get into college. I mean, that's their job and they definitely have a few tricks up their sleeve to try to sneak you in the back door. If you don't get into the school of your choice, there's the option of going to community college for a year to two to ramp up your GPA and then transfer to another school. I've done that myself. But I think I'm getting a little ahead of myself here, your guidance counselor could tell you all about it, and better than I can. Pay attention in school and do your work and get involved in a couple of extracurricular activities, and you should be OK.

The future is scary, I admit. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I let myself freak out for a bit and then I concentrate one step at a time on what I have to do. I'll actually make a list and say, "What, and only what, do I need to get done today, and only for today?" When you break everything down that way it all of a sudden seems more manageable, and it is. And keep in mind that 90% of the things we worry about never happen. I live by this rule, because it's proven itself time and time again.

tout jamais,


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences.

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