Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question.

Today's Column: Dumping a friend, and boy trouble.


Dear Chloe,


Being an open-minded and generally outgoing person, I made a "friend" at a Beatles convention. We had a fun time, hanging out together, etc. for the weekend. Turns out, she lives about 4 hours away from me, so I had the not-so-bright idea of inviting her to spend the weekend with me and my husband (the "friend" is a single female who still lives at home and she's in her early to mid 30s. Should have been my first clue). She came to stay, and was the biggest pain in my tuchas! She was rude, moody as hell, acted spoiled and generally had the attitude the whole weekend of "my way or the high way." This woman was not like this at the convention.

Since this time, she has been calling me all the time. I emailed her on occasion, but the phone calls are really starting to drive me up the wall! I've been using the caller ID, but she tends to call when I'm expecting someone else's call. Just tonight, my husband lied and said I was asleep. Also, I've told her explicitly that I prefer she just email me (if anything, really), but she still hasn't gotten the hint. Do I need to get rude with her? She told me she was manic depressive, and this scares my husband since she's also been to my home before. Oy gevault! Thanks.




Dear Val,

I once knew someone who was diagnosed manic-depressive, (or bi-polar disorder) and it was Bad News. Try to be reasonable with an irrational person -- it's futile, which you have already seen by having your directive for email contact ignored. I guess your options are this: you could continue to dodge her calls and email and if she wants to get together tell her you're busy, without explanation. Or, you could go ahead and get a little snarky with her. I'm not sure she'll get it but if you ignore her long enough, I would hope she'd eventually leave you alone. I'll keep my fingers crossed! I don't know what Miss Manners would say but as far as I'm concerned this falls under the category "Things Life is Too Short For". Your "friend" hasn't returned your kindness and consideration, after all, so don't feel guilty about cutting her off.

I wouldn't worry that she's been to your home; she is four hours away. Believe me, she has enough problems to keep her not-so-beautiful mind occupied. If anything, you have at least learned to give pause before inviting home any more two-legged strays. (And I've learned how to spell "tuchas".)

 Bonus question!

Dear Chloe,

I have a guy problem. We hooked up like 4 weeks ago and I know he asked me out and then I started going to the same school as he. We still talk, but then I hear things about him saying that he still likes me and stuff, and he wrote me an e-mail saying that night meant something to him, and now I am confused on what to do. Should I ask him if we could be more than friends? I am scared of rejection.




Dear NB,

Oy vey, you kids with the hooking up. You're not the only one who's confused.

OK, so you're still in contact with him (good) but you seem to be avoiding talking about the hook-up (not so good). Forget about the gossip and the things you hear from whomever. You guys need to have a conversation with like, each other. He is the only one who can tell you what he wants. And about being scared of rejection, well, yeah, rejection blows but you're going to have to face it sooner or later. My feeling is this guy does like you, otherwise he would have taken a powder. And I'm not so sure he knows what's going on in your head, either. This is why it's better to talk first, then fool around. Good luck!

tout jamais,


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