Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question.

Today's Column: Post-breakup buffer zones and worrying over ex-admirers.


Dear Chloe,

OK, there is this girl I like and she likes me, but she had just ended a relationship and she wanted some time to be single before we went out. I respected that, and now about five weeks later, she gets back from holiday and she won't talk to me, she doesn't answer my phone calls, she just avoids me at all times. What is going on? Help!!!




Dear Ben,

Ben, it's like this. Five weeks in post-relationship time feels more like five days. Even if she instigated the breakup, her feelings for her ex must run their natural course. For all you know, she may have spent her vacation brooding over him, and now throwing you into the mix is just too much to handle. All pretty normal.

Whatever is going on in her head, clearly she's not ready for another relationship. You didn't do anything wrong, but you don't have any choice but to wait and see.

I'm a big fan of the wait and see. Back off a bit, maybe look around for another girl to go out with. You could shoot her an email (or call her) saying that you're still interested but you understand that she's not ready and encourage her to contact you when she is. Then leave her alone. She'll appreciate that. If and when she's ready, she'll let you know. If she doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be.

 Bonus question!

Dear Chloe,

You see, there's a guy who I like, but I think he still likes his ex-admirer. But then, he asked for my phone number and he always finds me after school. So, do you think he likes me or does he still like his ex-admirer? Thanks!




Dear Amanda,

Well, honey, I can't say for sure. Signs are good, though, because any time a guy goes to any trouble that usually means he's interested. Cause guys are, you know, lazy. (As are we.)

But, he hasn't actually asked you out, has he? I don't think it would be a big deal if you asked him out first.

I mean, I don't know what the deal with the ex-admirer is and whether he liked her at all. If she asked me your question, I'd say it sounds like right now, he's admiring YOU.

Hugs and kisses,


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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