Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question.

Today's Column: Girls crushing on guys.


Dear Chloe,

There is this guy I have known since last school year. We were really good friends and this year it's just like I really don't exist. We talk occasionally. How do I get him into me again? Or to notice me?


wild one


Dear wild,

I'm not sure what you want. Were you dating or just good friends? Your letter sounds a little desperate, and that is always a turn-off. You can't force a friendship.

If you guys were seeing each other, I don't think you can get him "into you again" unless something major changes. And that "something major" may have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. In other words, you might have no control over it. Generally, things end for a reason, and all that means is that there is someone better out there for you. Quite possibly, he's got his eye on somebody else.

If you were friends, why can't you invite him to hang out the next time you speak? If he's not into it, well, don't sweat it. People drift apart all the time, it's just the natural order of things. Possibly that person has served his purpose in your life, and vice versa.

I think your best bet is to join some clubs or other afterschool activities, and develop new interests. Then you won't waste time thinking about this guy or that guy whom you knew a year ago.


Dear Chloe,

OK, there's this guy who I think likes me, but he always tries to avoid me when possible around his friends. Could it be his friends?




Dear angel,

Um, yes, I suppose it could be, if he doesn't want them to know that he likes you. Nobody wants to be vulnerable, especially around his boys, who might hassle him.

At any rate, I'm not too impressed with a boy who is such a coward. I prefer a guy who is proud of his girl. I'm not against a little bragging here and there to his buds.

Not being a guy myself, I can't say for sure. I assumed guys told each other about chicks they were feeling. If there are any guys out there, I'd appreciate if you weighed in with your opinions. Use the form below!

 Bonus question!

Dear Chloe,

I like this guy, but I don't know if he likes me. That's not unusual, I guess, but I have liked him for over a year and I don't see him much. Could you tell me how to tell whether he likes me the way I like him? I think I might be in love, that would be a first. I really care for this boy. I think about him and it's not like a high school crush, it's like a warm feeling inside that's like something I have never felt before.




Dear Taylor,

Have you seen the Squirtonline survey, How To Tell If Someone Likes You?

It's hard for me to tell whether this guy likes you or not. The biggest problem is that you don't see him very much. I'm assuming that because you don't see him that often, you don't know him very well. All the time, girls tell me they love guys whom they don't know, and that makes me nervous. I worry about them getting taken advantage of, or worse. Just a heads up, Taylor, I'm not trying to tell you what you're feeling or not.

Anyways, if you don't see him that often, well, that's not a good sign. The only way I can tell if a guy likes me for sure is if he makes an effort to talk to me, if he smiles when he sees me, if he acts likes he's interested in what I'm saying or doing, if he wants to spend time with me. And, ultimately, he asks me out. Sure, it's possible that a guy could like you if he doesn't do these things, but, what would be the point?

I've wasted a lot of time wondering if guys I liked, liked me, too. Even if they made no effort to get to know me, I still kept up a fantasy that maybe they liked me anyway, just because I dug them soooo much. Well guess what? Nothing ever happened.

Now I know better - if a guy appears to be interested, but he never asks me out, then it's the same as not liking me at all. I write him off and don't worry about it. Even if he gives me mixed signals, if he doesn't close the deal by calling, or reciprocating or inviting me out, I shrug and move on. Who's got time to wonder why? I'll never know, so why bother? (It works the same for establishing regular friendships, as well.) You'll definitely feel better about yourself if you follow this example, and your life will be less complicated, to boot.

You've spent a year liking a guy and you haven't gotten anything in return. You're building a fantasy that this guy seems so much better than other guys, and I know because I've done that myself many many times. But it's frustrating and self-defeating to do that, and you could be missing out on someone else. If I were you, I'd take a risk and ask him out, or I'd cut my losses and look around for another boy.

Just like I told wild one, above, I think you should work on developing new interests. You might meet someone that way, and then you two will already share some common ground. Having a lot of diversions will make you a more interesting person, and you'll be too busy to waste time thinking about guys you don't see very often.

Hugs and kisses,


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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