Due to the volume of responses I receive, I am unable to...um, not really. I'm sure I'll have more than enough time to mull over your question.

Today's Column: Even more girls crushing on guys. When will it end?


Dear Chloe,

There's this guy whom I really like. He flirts with me a lot (dead give away), but he flirts with every girl. It seems like every day we get closer and closer. He now found out that I'm ticklish on my sides. Last time I saw him he poked my sides as he was walking to his bus and looked back and smiled at me. He used to never say, "Bye". Just "Hello." Also, he's in that popular group where he likes all the girls but for some reason "flirts" with me who is in, as I like to call it, the "individual" group. We're all mixed together. So, does he like me? Oh, what if he was playing with my hair???




Dear Jen,

Here's the thing. There are some guys who are just plain expert flirts. Consequently, they are really hard to read. He's popular, he can probably have any girl he chooses, and he knows it. But why pick one girl when you can have them all?

I doubt he would bother flirting with you if he didn't like you as a person. (I know, that's not much help.) But I've learned that it's really a waste of time wondering whether someone likes you or not. Here's my litmus test: Did he ask for your phone number and contact you at home? Did he eventually ask you out? Or if you're feeling brave, did he say yes when you asked him out? In general, you should never take flirting too seriously, many people do it just for laughs. If you only ever see him at school, I tend to think he's happy with the way things are now.


Dear Chloe,

Well, there's a guy I admire and I told him about it. He said that he liked me, too, and said that he will couple with me after the examinations. But then, I think he still likes his ex-admirer and he always asks my friend about her. I don't know whether he really likes me or not. But then one day, he asked me to send him a love letter (just for fun) and I sent him one. He forgot that it was just for fun and he took it seriously. After that, my friend told him I like him and he told me not to lie about the letter. He thinks that it's true!! One day, I asked him to be my pet brother and he agreed. I don't know if he really likes me after all because he takes me as his pet sister and he hadn't really talked about asking me for coupling. So did I really spoil my relationship with him ?




Dear Amanda,

Whoa, Amanda, my head is spinning.

You're making this way too complicated! Way, way too complicated. There are a number of things I don't understand, like, if you admire him so much, wouldn't your love letter be true? In any event, you're coming on too strong and that will always turn guys (and girls) off.

You're so desperate to get with him that you're turning to counterproductive measures like asking him to be your "pet brother." What kind of message is that sending? (Hint - it's not good.) Plus it's silly and annoying. I would drop the pet sibling stuff IMMEDIATELY and never mention it to anyone again.

I'll admit it doesn't look good for you if he's still asking about his ex-admirer. But here's what I would do if I were you. Just back off. You've already told him you like him, and so did your friend. (That's another thing I don't like -- gossipy girlfriends. They do more harm than good, and oftentimes they like the same guy so they're trying, subconsciously or not, to spoil things for you.) Stop worrying over everything - what's done is done and remember that for the next time. Give him and yourself a breather. He knows where to find you.


Dear Chloe,

How can you tell if a guy is just being friendly or if he likes you? Like this guy at work seems to be flirting, but maybe he's just really friendly. I gave him a piece of paper that had a definition of him and it said that he was nice, attractive and humorous, pretty much the way that I feel about him (he's still talking to me after that) but I never know if guys like me. We joke around about things, but does he like me?




Dear curious,

Have you seen the Squirtonline survey, How To Tell If Someone Likes You?

Just as I told Jen, above, some guys enjoy flirting for flirting's sake. They never plan to take things further for whatever reasons -- they may be already in a committed relationship, for example. Most wise people are leery of dating someone they work with, anyway, and for good reason. We've all heard the horror stories. If your office romance goes from sizzle to fizzle, at best, you're stuck seeing your ex eight hours a day. At worst, you get fired or feel forced to quit. Who needs that?

So it comes down to, what are you going to do about it? If you think he's "The One," then you owe it to yourself to let him know how you feel. Otherwise, I'd just take pleasure in this for what it is: a harmless flirtation that adds a little spice to your workday.


Dear Chloe,

There is this guy in my class and we have been best friends for a long time. Now I wanna be more than just friends and I like him a lot!!! I would ask him out, but if he doesn't want to go out with me that could ruin our friendship......what should i do?


Sweet Chicka


Dear Sweet Chicka,

This is a decision that only you can make. Take a risk on love, or stay frustrated with the status quo? I think you should let him know how you feel.

First of all, people who are friends first have the best chances for a successful relationship. You already know the good and have accepted the bad.

Secondly, there's a good possibility that he feels the same way about you. And even if things don't work out, you still may be able to salvage the friendship. Just remember that we're more likely to regret what we haven't done.


Dear Chloe,

There is this guy that I like and I think he likes me, but he doesn't show any signs that he does like me. We're good friends and talk a lot, but I'm stumped! What do you think about this?




Dear VolleyJess,

Well, I'm stumped, too! If he doesn't show any signs that he's interested, why do you think that he is?

I mean, all this talking is well and good, but if you're waiting and waiting to be asked out, I'm sure it's very frustrating.

It seems like we're raising a generation of wimpy guys with little character. They're paralyzed by a fear of rejection. That leaves even more girls available for the guys who aren't afraid to take a risk.

If you're interested in the next step, you could ask him to hang out and see how into it he is. It doesn't have to be a big production, just something outside of what you two normally do, i.e. if you only talk at school ask him if he wants to go for coffee or ice cream. A shy but savvy guy will take advantage of your opening. If he doesn't eventually ask for your phone number, return or initiate phone calls or follow up with a date of his own, then he's not interested in a relationship.

Hugs and kisses,


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I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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