Chloe's so sorry she's waaay behind with her column. Please be patient, she'll get to all of your questions eventually!

Today's Column: Boys asking about girls and girls asking about boys. Like last week, and the week before, but different.


Dear Chloe,

Ok, there is this guy I like, and he's really cute. But I don't think the signs of flirting are really sending the message. So what can I do so that my crush knows that I like him, and likes me, too.




Dear Lisa,

See, you only have control over one of those things -- the letting him know that you like him part. This is not such a bad thing. Imagine if some slimy guy could make you like him against your will. Ewwww. And here's something else -- maybe the signs are getting through, and well, maybe you're the one who's not getting the message. I'm just saying.

There is really only one surefire way of knowing whether someone likes you, (the ongoing Squirtonline survey, How to Tell if Someone Likes You notwithstanding). And that's after you ask him out, he says yes.

Do you know any of his friends? Ask about him, but don't ask his buds if he likes you. They'll pass on the word to him. Geography is extremely important, and by geography I mean you two have to be in the same place at the same time. I mean, I don't have a lot of information to go on so I don't know if you've spent any time together, or if he even knows you. You should be able to read his body language. When you're talking to him, does he have your full attention? Has he had opportunity to ask for your number, but didn't? Does he have your number but he doesn't call you?

If you haven't spoken, well, you'll have to figure out a way to have a conversation. Think of things you can talk about. Isn't there something you two have in common? Are there any after school activities that he belongs to, that you could join, too? Do you share a class? When you're both doing the same thing at the same time, it's a lot easier to get a convo going. Ask him for help with something -- always a great ice-breaker. You could invite him to do something not too threatening, i.e. not just the two of you.

Sometimes fate will intervene, but sometimes we have to give it a little push to get it rolling.


Dear Chloe,

My friends talk to this really cute guy, he's a junior and I'm a freshman so I haven't gotten a chance to talk to him. I wanna ask him if he would like to go ice skating for like a date but I don't know him and I want to get to know him. Can you please help me? Thanks a lot!




Dear Jess,

Wait a minute here. Why do your friends know him but not you? Can't you be around when they're talking to him? Can't you ask them to do you a little bitty favor?

You know people who know him. You should really take advantage of that, but there are caveats. You don't want your friends telling him your business or asking him if he digs you. But definitely try to set something up so that you guys can meet up at the same time and place, and hopefully introductions will follow.

You're so close! And it's cool that you're all set to ask him out. I get so many letters from girls who crush on the same guy for YEARS and do nothing about it. Good luck, righteous woman!


Dear Chloe,

I'm a 16-year-old boy, but an unhappy one because I feel lonely. For one thing I live on an estate where there's not many other kids my age, and the few that are here are pathetic and immature, which I'm not like that. Also another thing, I've had problems with getting a girlfriend, I'm not as shy as I used to be, but there are not very many situations where I can put myself into where I can chat up a girl or she can chat me up.

I just keep thinking I'm always going to end up a lonely sad person, I can't be ugly because I have been chatted up in the past on occasion. But I would like your advice on what I could do to make my life better, I have no best mate who I can turn to for help. Please email me back with any advice you can offer.




Dear D,

Now I'm all sad and stuff.

Sixteen wasn't an easy time for me. If I could go back I'd change a few things. Like my attitude, for one.

First of all, stop worrying about finding a girlfriend. Once you get your act together, other things (and people) will fall into place.

I don't know what "living on an estate" is exactly, but don't you ever, like, leave it? Don't you go to school? Because if there aren't many situations for you to meet people, you're going to have to go search them out.

The best thing you can do for yourself is join an afterschool club or activity. My school had tons of things to do. A lot of them don't require any kind of experience, just an interest. Or if there is something that you like to do, you can start your own club, even if it's talking about new music or videogames. Anything to connect to others. It's a lot easier to make friends when you share a common interest. You're totally focusing on yourself which lends itself to depression. If you're volunteering, keeping busy, you won't have time to feel sorry for yourself. And before you know it you'll have made a few good friends. Just don't try too hard, and don't worry so much about what other people think of you.

And let's just forget that the people on the estate are "pathetic." Wipe the slate clean, and try to get to know them better. Maybe they're not as bad as you think. I kept my distance from a lot of my classmates in high school, probably as a defense mechanism. I rejected them before they could reject me. But I didn't give them a reason to like me, either. I strongly suggest you be more open-minded than I was. If you make some kind of effort, things will turn around soon.


Dear Chloe,

There is this super-hot popular guy that I'd had eyes on since last year. He knew because he'd always stare at me. If we made eye contact we'd smile. The thing is he is not my type and even though we'd flirt he has a girlfriend. My so-called friend told him everything and now he is upset and trying to avoid me, or if he knows I'm near he'll look around like he's confused or go over to where his chick is talking to her friends.

Why does he act this way? HELP!




Dear txgirl,

He acts that way because he has a girlfriend. You had me up until that little tidbit of info.

He was engaging in a little harmless flirtation. He wasn't doing anything wrong, but he's uneasy because now he knows for sure that you're interested. And he sounds like he doesn't want to mess things up with his girl.

Sure, there could be something else going on. But I don't spend a lot of time analyzing the behavior of dudes with girlfriends. Pursuing someone who is spoken for is called "poaching" and it is most definitely not cool. Why? Because it's not nice. And the poacher often becomes a poachee. Not so much fun.

And what exactly do you need help with? You say he's not your type (yeah right) so what do you care what he does? If he breaks up with his girlfriend, different story. But for now I'd get over it and flirt with someone who's available.


Dear Chloe,

I like this girl at my school and we have been friends probably ever since this school year started. We usually talk alot, sometimes, I make her laugh. I have caught her staring at me for a while. I thought she liked me, too. I told my friend that I liked her, then she found out by him, and all of a sudden everything crashed and burned. We rarely talk anymore and I think she's mad at me or something. I want to know what's on her mind and to see if she still likes me or even if she did like me in that way. What should I do?




Dear Super,

Why don't you talk to her, sweetie? She shouldn't be mad at you (if she is, she's a psycho). She's just a little uncomfortable with this newfound info. But you had such a good rapport with her, I'm confident you can overcome this little glitch before it gets too beastly. If you attempt to talk with her and she still blows you off, well, she's just silly and that's your answer. And let this be a lesson to everyone on why you should be very very careful of disclosing your crushes' secret identities.

Hugs and kisses,


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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