Chloe's so sorry she's waaay behind with her column. Unfortunately, she gets too many questions to answer each one. Chances are someone has already asked the same or a similar question, so check the archives or "How to Tell if Someone Likes You."

Today's Column: Crushes at work, inappropriate advances, should he make a move, and more.


Dear Chloe,

Well...I am really close with this one girl...we tell each other everything...I enjoy being with her and we have fun when we hang out...She told me she likes someone else but now says they are just friends yet she still likes him...I'm wondering how I know if she likes me or not...When I told her I liked her she said she was flattered...what do I do? Do I go for it?




Dear ny,

Dude, there's nothing for you to go for. You told her you liked her. That's great. But when her response is that she's flattered, well, she's trying to be nice because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She said she likes this other guy -- believe her. You put yourself out there, she knows you like her. Your job is done. Don't say any more. If she's interested, she'll come to you.


Dear Chloe,

There is a guy that works for the same company, but not in the same state. He comes up about once every 2 to 3 months. I am getting mixed signals from this guy. For instance, he came up to my table and spoke with me and my three friends for a bit. He looks right into my eyes and I catch him looking at me while we are talking but look away when I turn to look at him. When he left, he smiled and said "bye," and touched me. He didn't come back the hour I was there, though. I am just not sure what to do. Should I just come out and ask him the next time he comes up to go out? I know it would be a long distance relationship, but I really feel connected to this person. I am very confused and don't know what to do.

Oh, and when I went on vacation I asked him if he wanted a postcard mailed, and he said yes. When he received the postcard he sent me an email and he was sooo excited and happy. He really loved getting that card. Any advice?




Dear x,

First I would try to dig up some background on this guy. Are you sure he's not involved with someone already? I'm assuming he isn't, just because of the postcard. Speaking of, I'm pretty sure guys don't make that big a deal of receiving a freaking postcard. I sure don't! Unless it was from some hottie I had my eye on, then, yeah, I guess I would. Next, decide if you're up for a long distance relationship. Let's assume that you're into it. I'd just ask him out the next time he's in town. If he says yes, fabulous. If not, no big deal, you only see him a few times a year anyway.


Dear Chloe,

Hi, I am new at this so here I go. I really like this guy named Matt and he says I am fiesty and that I look sexy and crap to all my friends. I really want a guy to hold me and kiss me and like me for who I am, not for what I look like. Can you give me advice on how to get a guy? Please and thank you!




Dear Carlye,

Lose that mindset on "getting a guy". It smacks of desperation. Be yourself. It's the only way to attract people who will like you for who you are. Guys want to be with someone who is easy to hang out with.

Fiesty and sexy is good. Very desirable traits. A lot of people say "sexy comes from within," but if you feel sexy then you're probably going to look and act sexy, too. If that's who you are, marvelous. If you're not comfortable being sexy, is it because you're hiding something or trying to be someone you're not?

Now I hate to break it to you, but the majority of guys aren't going to want to hold you and kiss you if they're not attracted to you from the get-go. Most guys aren't going to dig deeper into the real you if they don't like what they see. Girls aren't like that -- we have to like the person before we're attracted to him. We're just wired differently.


Dear Chloe,

OK, Hi! there's this guy I know but I'm not sure he likes me, he's always staring me and stuff but he never smiles, he sent me a sent and signed it love,-----. What does that mean, and that's not all he is 5 years older than me. He's 18 and about to go to college, and I'm only 13, sometimes he tells me that I'm pretty....indirectly, what do I do? Please help me as soon as possible.




Dear Kimberly,

Please stay away from this guy! There is no reason for an 18-year-old to be sniffing around a 13-year-old. Let your parents know what he is doing.

The unsmiling staring and the love note -- it's too creepy. Please, please do not do anything with him! You may be flattered that he is giving you this attention, but he has an unfair advantage and he will know how to manipulate you. You may not understand now how dangerous this is but you will when you're eighteen. It is really important for you to hang out with people closer to your own age. A five year difference at this point in your lives may as well be 50.


Dear Chloe,

My friend, who is a boy acts like a girl all the time. He mostly has friends who are boys, but he has a lot of friends who are girls, too. So could my friend be gay?


Help Please


Dear Help,

I really don't know if he's gay or not. A lot of effeminate guys are straight. A lot of masculine guys aren't. But why does it bother you so much? It's really not your business. Maybe you could talk to someone to figure out why his sexuality is bugging you.

Hugs and kisses,


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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