Chloe's so sorry she's waaay behind with her column. Unfortunately, she gets too many questions to answer each one. Chances are someone has already asked the same or a similar question, so check the archives or "How to Tell if Someone Likes You."

Today's Column: Mean crushes, approaching strangers, moving to a new town, and more.


Dear Chloe,

I still like my crush even though he is mean to me and not talking to me. He sometimes calls me names when I go to his job and we used to be buddies. Can you help me?




Dear lex,

Yes. Stop going to his job, stop associating with him, stop wasting your time. Why like someone who treats you badly? That gets so old. He is not your buddy, he is not your friend, and he is not interested. If you want to help yourself, cut your losses and move on.


Dear Chloe,

I just moved, and I don't like my town. I had so many wonderful friends from where I came, and I just can't make friends here. There are more African-Americans in my school and town here, but I came from an almost all-white school. It's scary for me. I'm not racist, just culture-shocked. The school is ugly, and dirty, and everyone's either pregnant, or does icky drugs. I want to go home badly. Please help me!!!! I am going through a tough depression, too...




Dear britt,

Boy, that is tough. Things will seem so much better when you find a friend. There must be someone in your school who doesn't do drugs? Look into afterschool activities. Push yourself into going even if you don't feel like it -- at the very least you'll find people who share an interest with you. Or start a club! If there isn't something in school you want to get involved with, look for something else, volunteer, whatever.

I also think it would help if you talked to your parents or an adult you trust about what you're going through. Maybe see the school guidance counselor. It's perfectly normal to be depressed about moving into a new town. Depression is a sort of internalized fear. You can fight it. The best way to get over that is to keep yourself busy so you don't have time to think about it.


Dear Chloe,

So there is this girl that I have been friends with for a couple years and I really liked her and this other girl at the same time. The other girl's roommate told me that she was interested so I chose the other girl. We'll call this girl Izabella. She dated some other guy that ended up putting her through a lot mentally and her view of guys is not good. She started treating me differently after I started dating the other girl and I worry that she may see herself as my second choice and be put off by that alone. Anyway, we have started to hang out a lot more recently and she always tells me that she wants a boyfriend, but doesn't like guys, so I'm not sure how to take that. In the last week we have met for lunch 3 times and spent at least 3 hours talking each time. I know we connect well mentally, but I don't know if she wants anything more. I make a point of making as much eye contact as possible and she receives it and reciprocates it well. My problem is that I can't tell if she just likes me or if she wants me to. I've decided that I will tell her my feelings but I don't want to lose her as a friend, any suggestions on how I should go about asking her about her feelings and I also feel very strongly for this girl, how much should I say to show how serious I am without scaring her?




Dear butz,

Your letter is a little confusing, are you still dating the other girl, as well? It doesn't sound like Izabella is quite ready for another relationship right now.

I would take things very slow. If you come on too strong I think this chick will bail because she's pretty gunshy as it is. I don't see anything wrong with being honest and telling her how you feel about her. Follow her lead and don't pressure her. If you're attentive enough you should be able to dispel any of her fears that she was your second choice.

In a situation like this, there is always the possibility that you could lose her friendship. But can you live with the regrets if you don't make a move? I tend to think that if she does takes a powder, how good of a friendship could it have been?


Dear Chloe,

Well, I like this boy who works at the record shop. I don't know him, I don't know his name, actually I have never really spoken to him. I have only admired him from a distance. How do I get to know him and find out if he is the "dreamboat" I think he might be?




Dear lovey,

Approaching a stranger is one of the hardest moves in the business. At least since this is a "job" he sort of has to help you if you ask him to. The bad thing is, a lot of people are all business at work, for good reason.

So try to find an excuse to ask him a question or find something for you, even if you have to hide it beforehand. If he's friendly while he's assisting you, you may want to throw caution to the wind and just ask him out right there. If he says no, so what?


Dear Chloe,

I REALLY like this guy, let's call him Josh. I have liked him for a really long time. I got one of my friends to ask him out for me. His answer was "I don't know. I'll give her an answer in a couple days." That was on a Friday after school. It's been a week and he still hasn't answered me. He flirts with me then completely ignores me. I'm confused!




Dear Con,

See, the getting your friend to ask him out, that's no good. It's such a turn off because it's cowardly. A guy doesn't need a couple of days to think about going out with someone. That was just to get rid of your friend. I'd say forget this guy and forget about asking your friends to do your dirty work for you. Give him some of the same medicine - ignore him like he ignores you.

Hugs and kisses,


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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