Chloe's so sorry she's waaay behind with her column. Unfortunately, she gets too many questions to answer each one. Chances are someone has already asked the same or a similar question, so check the archives or "How to Tell if Someone Likes You."

Today's Column: Office romances, when your crush has a girlfriend, crushing on your friend, stealing your best friend's girl.


Dear Chloe,

I have been interested in this guy for months now. We are both students and work at school. My friend was supposed to set me up with his co-worker, yet, he voiced his disapproval to me and has since started coming around. He has been dropping by my office every chance he can and tells me his schedule. The only problem is that he has a non-serious girlfriend (no sex). I told him that I think he is charming and would like to date only if he found himself single. After I told him this he has been coming by my office even more. He brings his friends over just to have an excuse to see me, but acts very bizarre and will only have brief eye contact with me while talking to everyone else but me. Is he just really shy? Now he tells me he is having problems with his girlfriend and is not happy. What is your advice? Does this mean he like me and is actively pursuing me?




Dear H,

Why would a guy with a girlfriend start making inappropriate advances towards another girl? Is he looking for a side dish? Exploring other opportunities since his relationship is on the skids? Does he want a little no-string action while he and his main squeeze work out a rough patch? No matter what scenario you come up with, it's all bad news.

And lets pretend for a minute that say, he IS having sex with his girlfriend. And that he lied to see what kind of response he'll get from you (positive). So now he goes to step two: he tells you he's unhappy with his girlfriend. Pretty standard stuff. If things are that bad, why doesn't he break up with her? Do you think this is someone you'll be able to trust? At the very least stick to your guns and wait til he's single.


Dear Chloe,

I like this boy that I go skating with EVERY Wednesday. I think he likes me 'cause he has put his hands around my waist, but if he doesn't like me... I don't want to lose our friendship...What should I do!?




Dear Mitsy,

No one can make this decision but you. Do you want to keep his friendship, or risk it to take things further? How frustrated are you by the status quo? I am sure this will not be the last time you find yourself in this situation. Even if you do pursue a relationship that ultimately doesn't work out, you may be able to salvage the friendship.


Dear Chloe,

Ok, well there is this guy whom I noticed around school until this year. I started to really like him, until I found out, that he had a gf.

Anyways, he seems to like me more than he likes his gf. He is a faithful, good guy, but I can't help thinking, why does he go out of his way to talk to me, although sometimes is moody. At one point we spent a 3 day weekend in the same place. His gf had to leave, and when she left, his attitude completely changed. We had a dance that night, and even though he hates dancing, he came to dance right beside me, and started giving me funny looks. We both have a lot in common, it's scary! He keeps on remarking on that fact.

He invites me to things he does, even though his gf is there, and she seems to be mad at me, even though I try my best to seem unattached to him. They are not a very affectionate couple, but around me he seems more himself that around her. When he talks to me he listens closely and moves his head forward intently, when he talks to her, he seems to be 10 miles away. My question is, does he like me? I know we would never do anyhing if he is still with his gf, but I think he wants to break it, but people just seem to think they go good together, and apparently they have been going out for a long time. Then I came along this year, moving in in their circle after moving last year to the school, but just meeting him now. What should I do? What do you think he will do? This is driving me INSANE!


shy sophie


Dear shy,

I give everyone the same advice. If your crush is already in a relationship, step off. It's very simple if you follow the golden rule. Would you want your boyfriend to be treating some other girl the way this guy treats you? Can you blame his girlfriend for being a little resentful? It's obvious you guys like each other, and you keep coming around. If it's meant to be, they'll break up and he'll be free to pursue a relationship with you.

There is always the possibility that you are misreading the situation, as well. And I never care what other people think as far as who makes a good couple or not.


Dear Chloe,

Me and my best friend hooked up with 2 girls almost 3 years ago. At first, his girl and I didn't get along, but after a few months we got along ok, then we got along well, then we got along really really well. I know she doesn't like him that much anymore, and says to my girl how she wants another guy. Well, every time I look she is looking at me and trying to talk to me about something. I thought it was just how she was... but I saw how she is around other guys, and it's not the same.

Today, we both caught each other in a stare and I decided to look her up and down while we were looking at each other. She kept looking at me and seemed to like it. Before she left she started talking about something (wasn't paying attention) but we were both staring at each other and we both just smiled while gazing at each other for around 20 seconds. I know I just felt light as a feather and I "felt" something.

Help me out.




Dear n,

Sure, go ahead and make a move on your best friend's girl. The worst that can happen is that you'll lose your friend and your relationship. No big deal.


Dear Chloe,

I've liked this guy for awhile now and I'm too shy to tell him. Besides, we're friends and I don't want to ruin that. Lately, though, he's been playing with my hair and flirting with me more than usual. I don't know what to think because last time we talked about who we liked he said he liked another girl. Another problem is that he's my best friend's cousin and she might have a problem with me dating him because the two of them are really good friends. So I really don't know what to do.




Dear Confused,

Ask your best friend if she's OK with you dating her cousin. I really don't see why she should care, it's not like she can date him. And she should be happy that he's dating someone she likes.

Just like I told Mitsy, above, this is a decision that you have to make yourself -- whether to keep the friendship as is or risk it to kick it up a notch. Try flirting back when he's playing with your hair.

Hugs and kisses,


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Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment purposes only. I am not a professional therapist or licensed anything for that matter. But that doesn't mean that I don't care.

I reserve the right to edit for grammar, brevity, content, etc. If you'd like to discuss something you've seen here, I invite you to share your experiences. Don't keep it a secret! I welcome your comments.

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