Chloe gets too many questions to answer each one. Chances are someone has already asked the same or a similar question, so check the archives or "How to Tell if Someone Likes You."

Today's Column: Another double length column! Does my crush like me, knowing when to leave, my newly lesbian friend digs (straight) me, I'm jealous of my best friend's beautiful girlfriend, what not to do at the mall.

 

Dear Chloe,

I really like this guy at school, and I don't know if he likes me, too. Every time I am in my first period class he comes and walks really slow past the door and waves at me. One day in class while we watched a movie he stared at me the whole time. And I always catch him staring at me! Every time I look back at him he gives me this look and I get this strange feeling he likes me, too. Can you please tell me what you think about this.

Sincerely,

suckbluepeople

 

Dear suck,

I am soooo tired of answering this question. If you look back through the advice archives you can find this has already been answered multiple times.

1) If he didn't like you, why would he bother to pay you any attention at all? Why would he constantly be staring at you, unless he was a complete psycho? Actually, I'm not sure he isn't a psycho, what with all the staring at all.

There are so many cuties around that the average guy is not going to go out of his way to get the attention of someone he's not interested in.

But all this is moot if all you two ever do is lock eyeballs. Have you actually had a conversation? Something? Throw the guy a bone already. Make me proud!

 

Dear Chloe,

I have been married for 8 years and we have 2 beautiful children. We have never really gotten along because of our differences in almost every aspect of our life. I decided I could deal with it until he brought this guy over, now I find us gazing, flirting and interested. I don't know what to do. My marriage has been over a long time. I just can't let go.

I wished that I could meet someone else to get over my husband to help give me the strength and courage to raise my kids by myself. I find myself daydreaming and wondering, wishing, hoping.

I am so dependent on my husband that I would rather be treated mean the rest of my life, than have a life of peace and love. It's staring back at me.

Sincerely,

Frazzled in the Mountain State

 

Dear Fraz,

Leaving your husband is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do. But you can't expect some guy to come around to save you. You have to get your own house in order first before you'll be ready to be with someone else. Why? Because you may end up in the same situation you're in now. Or say you give in to temptation with your husband's friend. What if you leave your husband and your new boyfriend decides he doesn't need the baggage of his friend's ex-wife and two kids. That scenario happens all the time.

What made you marry someone who is completely different from you? You have to figure that out, not necessarily on your own either. I would try to find a local women's group, someone you can talk to. Do you have anyone else to support you emotionally or financially? Family, friends? If you leave your husband will he help you at all? Do you really think you can spend the rest of your life being married to someone who is mean to you?

Whatever you need is within you already. You just have to find it and bring it out. Don't give up.

 

Dear Chloe,

My girlfriend and I love each other.She is a beautiful and good-hearted girl. Many men are attracted to her and want to be her boyfriend. One guy even tries to flirt with her and ask for her phone number when I am not around. She is always nice and polite to him. I am not mad at her, but I am angry with the guy. What should I do in this situation?

Sincerely,

minhtampa

 

Dear min,

Do nothing. There's no reason to be angry, you should be happy that your girlfriend chose yhou when she could have her pick of men. This is just an occupational hazard of dating a beautiful and nice woman. Consider it a compliment.

 

Dear Chloe,

I have a crush on the most popular guy in my grade. I am number 1 in my class while he is number 2. Many people hate me and are just jealous of me. But not him. He talks to me everyday, and tells me how he is going to beat me and get better grades than me. He flirts ( well that's my gut feeling anyway ). He's asked me to go to the movies telling me I need to get out more and then a minute later he'll say JUST KIDDING! He claimed that I was flirting with him yesterday and made fun of me. Now he told me I should go out with his cousin. This guy is confusing. Normally I wouldn't care but he flirts with everyone. Sometimes I really think he likes me and sometimes I think he is just a player. Lately all his friends talk to me or tease me. I really don't know what to think. I've never been smart in this area and I cannot stop thinking about him. Please help me!

Sincerely,

Jill

 

Dear Jill,

I'm not getting a great feeling from this guy. He's too inconsistent. And that whole thing about asking you to the movies and then taking it back? Yuck. And is he making fun of you or gently teasing you? Because I'm sensing a bit of a cruel vibe from him. The next time he says you should go out with someone else, say, "OK, give me his number!" all happy-like and see what he does. Or, turn it around on him and ask him to the movies and say "JUST KIDDING!" Because all I see in this situation is more of the same.

 

Dear Chloe,

My friend, Kim, is going lesbian. She has a crush on me and thinks I feel the same!! How do I tell her I'm not, without losing her great friendship? She keeps touching me and stuff in front of my boyfriend...Please give me some advice!

Sincerely,

catz

 

Dear catz,

If she's such a great friend, if you remind her that you're straight, that should be enough for her to back off. If she touches you inappropriately, tell her to knock it off. Would you let some guy paw at you like that? And if he didn't stop would you still consider him a great friend? Or just a perv?

 

Dear Chloe,

I'm worried that my boyfriend is going to kill me. He gets very aggressive and forces me to do dirty stuff with him. He hits me and pulls my hair but I love him too much to leave him. What do I do?

Sincerely,

nobody

 

Dear nobody,

Are you kidding me? Get the hell out of there, now! A healthy relationship does not involve physical and mental abuse. Stop telling yourself you love him too much to leave him and leave him! Go to a friend's temporarily. And then get some help. There are places you can go that will protect you from him. Do a search on the internet for someplace local. Please help yourself NOW.

 

Dear Chloe,

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I am finally realizing that he is not someone I would want to marry or see myself with in the far future. He is very mean to me and puts me down a lot. I know I deserve better than that but I can't bring myself to acutually move out of our apartment. What should I do?

Sincerely,

babysteaks

 

Dear babysteaks,

OK, the good thing is you know that you deserve better and you don't want to stay with him. The bad thing is you're still there. Because you don't want to move out? C'mon, lady!

Find yourself a roommate if you have to. Move in with a friend temporarily. Leaving him will be hard but not as hard as staying. Please stop with this "I can't" crap. You can and you will.

 

Dear Chloe,

Well, I had this crush on one of my good guyfriends. We kept flirting and spending a lot of time together. I think- too much fun that he thought I only liked him as a friend. He told me he liked another girl and he was asking me for advice about dancing because there was a dance coming up for Valentine's day. *sigh* She's the beautiful type. She always tries to sell herself and she's extremely self absorbed. I don't know how long their "relationship" will last. I hope my guyfriend sees that she might have the looks but I have the personality, pretty good looks (hehe), and since we already have a really good friendship it would be easy. He's like my best friend and I'm probably jealous but it's just that I REALLY like him. I just don't know how to tell him or if I should. Maybe he's not my type. Especially if he chose looks over personalities. We're probably just meant to be friends. Wow, I answered my own question. Well, anyway whatever you say to answer me I'm sure it'll be warm and helpful.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

 

Dear Stephanie,

Guys are always attracted to beautiful girls, it takes them a while but eventually they lose interest if the personality doesn't match. The more intelligent the guy is, the faster he'll realize it. I wouldn't worry too much about him, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. First decide whether you want to keep his friendship or if it's worth risking to take it to the next level. If you still want to go for it then tell him how you feel. I wouldn't tell him right away because he's into the other girl at the moment. Good luck!

 

Dear Chloe,

I have a crush on a married co-worker. My marriage has been in trouble for a while, and his marriage is not great. I feel like he flirts with me a lot, but I'm not sure why since neither of us is available. I am trying to get over him, but he always finds a way to keep me interested. What should I do?

Sincerely,

KS

 

Dear KS,

C'mon, now. Do I really have to say it?

He flirts because it's fun. And harmless as long as it doesn't go any further.

If you're "trying to get over him" you'll have to try harder by not flirting with him anymore. I'm not interested in his "not great" marriage, or yours. A little extracurricular activity is not going to help either situation. Have you tried counseling? Try to fix what's wrong in your marriage first.

 

Dear Chloe,

Okay so last weekend I was with my girlfriend and we were at the mall. We didn't have anywhere to go so we went to the parking garage stairs. We started making out until it was full-on dry humping. After about thirty minutes or so an old guy walks over planning to go down or something and just has this horrified look on his face. We see him turn around and start laughing. So I told this story to my friend (whose name happens to be chloe also) and she thinks it's illegal. Is it? Because I'm pretty sure it's just PDA, no body parts or anything were shown, so it's just a lot of sexuality which is normal in our society.

Sincerely,

silentrevenger

 

Dear silent,

Normal? How often do you see full-on dry humping in public? I don't know if it's legal or not, but it's pretty darn tasteless. Simulated sex is not a PDA, it something that should be done in a private room. I feel sorry for that old guy.

Hugs and kisses,

 


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