I have little patience for whining (unless it's from me). Especially if it's coming from self-described Heartless Bitches. After cringing through most of "Things That Make Us Hurl," I thought it was only fair that someone wrote "Things About Heartless Bitches That Make Me Hurl, Part II:"

"The fact that I'm held as immoral and 'easy' if I'm having a casual friend with whom I sleep. I don't wanna use word "love" because it's not that, I don't want a relationship but do like good company and sex - and my friend knows it! Why is it so bad that two adults rather make this kind of agreement than have one night stands or talk about ever-lasting love (like a lot of women do to have a right to have sex, for crying out loud)?"

Probably because this type of relationship is rarely fulfilling, you immoral, easy person, you.

"Morons who counter my claims of misanthropy with some sappy observation that I just *have* to like people. After all, I'm so *nice*. Well, no. I don't like people and I'm not nice. If you want proof, just come a little closer."

Yeow. Hopefully this one isn't a breeder, either.

"Girls in the locker room who are afraid to change openly - they take their bra off under their shirt, put the second shirt on before they take the first one off. Then they are scared of me because I have no qualms about showing my *gasp* bra in front of other females. They back away slowly and think I will "lesbian rape" them. Get a life."

Maybe if you weren't watching them so closely, they wouldn't feel uncomfortable changing in front of you.

"Women who, knowing that you are dating other women, expect you to instantly stop seeing the others after you've had sex with them. Since when does everyone HAVE to be monogamous?"

Quit it. You're killing me.

"When I was a studious 13 year old, having to fight both the school administration and my guardian, for a place in an industrial drawing class. It was assumed that 1) I was doing it just to be around boys (um, no) and 2) I'd be "stealing" the place from "a boy who's going to need to support a family someday". Hello? I'm nearly 40 now and I've never been supported by anyone other than myself. And yes, I work in industrial design."

Hello? You're nearly 40 now. Build and industrially design yourself a bridge and get over it.

"The term 'first bi experience' -- usually used by women curious about sex with other women. It's not a bisexual experience, it's sex with a woman. Very heterocentric thinking."

Excuse me. I don't know what you're getting at, but I'd rather hear about your first bi experience.

"People who assume that being bisexual always means that you don't notice gender in the people you're attracted to. Well, maybe, for some people. I personally am very cognizant of gender in the people I'm attracted to--their secondary sexual characteristics are part of what I find attractive. Don't assume that I'm hopelessly hung up on gender stereotypes if I happen to notice what someone looks like."

Excuse me. I don't know what you're getting at, but I'd rather hear about your first bi experience.

"Women who tell me they wish they had my hair it's so curly/soft/whatever. Oh, do you? Good - This is what I did. First, I stopped trying to make it look like everyone elses I saw and liked. Then, I stopped trying to make my hair look like the latest style-of-the-minute on the cover of whatever magazine I saw in the check out aisle. I also ignored everyones opinion in high-school as to what they thought my hair should look like. Then I started to ignore my mother's opinion on the matter. Then I let my hair do what it does naturally. Now, you TOO can get people to walk up and tell you they 'love your hair, how can they get THEIR hair to do that?'. It only took me 15 of my 30 years to stop wanting to look like somthing I was not. I gag when I think anyone (especially myself) spent that much time at it."

And I gag that I just wasted so much time reading this.

"The excessive use of pastels in girl's toys. In the late 60's and early 70's, Barbie toys and accessories were not exclusively Barbie pink. My Barbie campervan was yellow, orange, and brown. And my lego was red, black, blue, yellow, and white. Why do the toy marketeers think that lego has to come in pastel colours to be appreciated by girls."

Shut up and go play with your yellow, orange, and brown Barbie campervan.

"Mayonnaise. The way it looks, the way it smells, the way it tastes. Double UGH. Tapered-leg pants and the people who wear them. Why God why?"

You call this a rant? A few inane comments like these and I'm liable to slip into a coma.

"'Are you a model?' and 'Does it make you mad that men ask you out just because you're beautiful.'"

People are jealous that you're beautiful. What's the problem? And why else do guys ask out women they don't know? Wrong. There is no other reason.

"The guys at Kinkos Copy Center who give you the "ga, ga" look and tell you that you don't have to pay for your copy, just because you're a good looking lady."

Poor Ms. Smugly McSmuggerson. The advantages of being very attractive in our society are such a burden. I mean, if I got free stuff, I'd be all "hell, yeah!"

"Friends who get all pissy, sometimes at *me*, when we're out and men look at/talk to me and not my friend...look, it's not my fault I fit their shallow barbie-doll influenced idea of sexy better than you do, and second, if you really stopped to think about it or knew a thing about me, girlfriend, you'd realize that this kind of male attention does less than nothing for me, anyway!"

This rant speaks on so many levels. Unfortunately, they all say "Person who needs to get over herself."

"The fact that it's impossible to get sexy, well scripted, imaginative women's pornography in the UK and if you do try looking you have to go into a dirty sleaze pit full of shifty geezers."

Well-scripted and imaginative pornography? Try a foreign film. Oh wait, you said imaginative.

"Women who automatically take a dislike to me because I'm more attractive than them and they're so f***ing insecure and afraid of God-knows-what that they don't even have the decency to be polite. This is after they've given me the rude once-over..."

They're f***ing insecure? Good one!

The final chapter....