This is Part VII of the ever-evolving "How to Tell if Someone Likes You." Feel free to post your comments via the textbox below!

This page is about participation. Share your wisdom or learn from what others have said already. If you want help with your crush, ask our advice columnista, Chloe.

Check the archives for the rest of the story. Here's the latest.

On to Part VII!

I feel that if he likes you, then you will just know. Ask yourself deep down "does he really like me". No maybes, either yes or no. Be confident with your words around him. They can tell when you are tense and who wants to go out with someone if it is gonna be awkward?? Like previously mentioned, make eye contact when talking and try to have a long conversation. None of that small talk crap. Good luck...

<<<.....that is so true! "Relationships are so much sweeter when you've put in lots of flirting and guesswork before you start dating." >>> Bravo :-D

My secret (or should I call it:"problem") is that I AlWaYs play hard to get! That really scares my crushes and makes them back off, because I'm HoT ,and I'm nice to everyone, but not to ThEm! I am so wrong, but actually not much, because if that guy really likes you and finds you very special (and not jUsT attractive!) he will come after you, no matter what ! :-D Right? :-P Have fun>>>

Usually if the opportunity presents itself and its the case that your paths meet often....I usually say a casual hullo and wait to see if that person will say hullo back at another time.Their actions say a lot as well ...so if the person initiates conversation or when you are conversing ..even if it is for a short while... and the person seems to want to find out more about you but isn't pushy...and seems tense...or if they kinda hang around a bit or you catch them glancing in your direction...all this is usually a clue that the person at least finds you interesting.

For me...I have not mastered the art of game playing and neither do I want to ...but it is hard to know for sure without seeming desperate. However, it helps to at least try to talk to that person about stuff that interests them and to see what you have in common...use your initiative...if you can tell the person seems shy but genuine...then see if the person would be willing to spend some extra time with you...doesn't have to be anything big...people who like each other don't mind spending a bit more time getting to know each other-simple.

I fancy this bloke at work. We had lots of eye contact going on, he looks me up and down, stares after me, but never smiles. It's his flirting techniques that have made me fancy him. Go for it!! Let the girl know you like her, everyone likes flattery!

Do not be stupid, girls like romantic people, so don't ignore them.

Walk and be as sexy as possible around your crush.

This always works for me. Try to act like there's no chance for a relationship between you and the guy you're crushing. Act really busy, very involved and (truly) you can't manage a relationship. If a guy really cares for you, he'll come through and you'll mean so much more to him since he'll know that you have a life besides him.

Hey, I'm a girl...First, to all you GUYS....if you like a girl tell her...see what her response is...If you want to kiss your girlfriend don't ask, just do it...when you ask a girl, "Will you kiss me," you make her uncomfortable!

Ok, this is for all you girls and guys out there who have a crush or are interested in someone who you think is absolutely unattainable.. or in other words, is really popular and you're not so popular, and stuff like that.you think he will never be interested in you... i have just 3 words for you.. MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN. I'm not saying that this will happen for everyone, but I say this from experience, that yes.. a really hot, funny, popular guy (did I mention, HOT?) likes me right now! and I have no idea what I did to get him to like me.. oh yeah, I was MYSELF. I didn't mean to catch this guy, honestly... but I did, and I couldn't be happier. Some ideas for getting closer to the person you like are listed below...

  1. This one is what worked for me: Throw a party, and INVITE HIM/HER to the party! Or, go to someone's party especially if he/she is going too. Then, try to hang out with them as casually as possible (key word, CASUAL, don't over do it. and might I add, make sure he/she is enjoying hanging with you, if they aren't, just back off). I did this with a guy I just thought was hot and nice (wasn't necessarily interested in him). And it started out as friendly laughs, to sitting close to each other, to him putting his arm around me because I was cold (so cute huh?), to me sitting on his lap, and to finally him liking me and breaking up with his current girlfriend (who he said he liked a lot at the beginning of the party ((whoops))) Just be casual, make sure you are yourself (but keep your embarrassing side on the down low, if you have one), and make sure you let him/her know that you're there to have fun!

  2. If you have any classes with him/her, try asking him for help, that's always a cool way to get to know him/her better, not to mention, it compliments them on their intelligence.

  3. Oh, I read on this page from a guy who said that saying "I dont know" means they don't like you. Well, that's not right for everyone. The guy who likes me now would say "I dont know" to everyone who would ask him if he liked me, or who he liked, or how much he liked me, or if he liked me as a friend... in other words, (with this guy, I'm not saying it's the same with others, so don't take this advice as seriously as the other suggestions I gave) it was yes, or a lot, or whatever. But he was so shy to say it, and tried to keep it a secret the best he could.

I try the gentleman test.

I say, "Oh...I am sooo...cold. I wish I had brought my jacket..."

And if the guy is wearing a jacket or whatever, he will lend to to you...if he's a gentleman.

My secret is. . . when I talk to the guy that I like, I look at him and always have a grin on my face.

I'm hot....that seems to work.

So ya wanna know if a guy likes ya, huh? Well, be sure he's looking at you. Pretend to not notice him, and if he continues staring, them glance at him and smile. (Try waving at him for extra fun, and if he REALLY likes you, he'll probably blush or wave back. Every boy's characteristics are different, so don't expect the same reaction from every guy.)

When you like a guy, make sure you look at him a lot. Don't stare, but look into his eyes. I liked this guy and I flirted a little and dropped a couple of hints and then a couple of hours later he bought me candy and asked me out! We're still together after 3 months.

I am a Man and I have to say it is very annoying when a girl flirts with every guy but you. It makes the guy feel like she dosen't like him and is very confusing. I mean, "If she likes me why is she flirting with him...?" It is one of the most annoying things a girl can do.

Help! There's this girl I like in my lunch period. I went to her table and introduced myself to her and her friends. I was a little nervous. I began talking to her, asking her questions and trying to get to know her. We got a little acquainted but I didn't ask for her number. I was kinda shy and nervous. I noticed that she kept looking around and wasn't paying enough attention to me. I don't know if she just wasn't interested or if she was playing hard to get? I stopped talking to her for about 3 days. I thought maybe her mind was somewhere else that day.

Anyway, What should I do? Stop talking to her because she's not interested


Go ahead and talk to her again and get her number or something. What should my approach be on our next interaction?

I'd cool it with this one. You can't ignore her behavior, dude. She kept looking around because she was uncomfortable. You may have freaked her out a little since 99% of people don't have the guts to approach their crush cold. But you've got to pay attention to her body language. If she's not being responsive, drop it and move on to the next girl. Step off a bit, give her an opportunity to approach you. Most of the time a girl needs a few encounters before she decides whether she likes you or not. But if you're too aggressive you're not giving her a chance to evaluate her feelings, and she'll be too preoccupied while she's on the defensive.

A reader adds:
This gal knows what she's talking about, if you get this down pat, you are laughing, and a "how are ya" would have been sufficient in the first place, rather than sitting down and making her uncomfortable for a first encounter, anyways...

I love silent flirting... using your body language to get the message across. To me, that's what's really makes the sparks fly and for you both to blush. I liked this guy and I remember we were hanging out with some people and something funny happened and he looked straight at me and smiled, and after a couple of seconds I broke eye contact and looked down and smiled to myself, when I knew he was still watching me. It's subtle and so cool, because you two are having this intense connection with one another at that moment which may not be visible to other people around you (no one saw us exchanging smiles). It's very exciting that way, like your little secret.

When I like a guy, I tend to laugh at everything he says.. which is kinda bad, I know, and makes me look like a dork, but at times that can be endearing to the guy, when you're not afraid to act goofy. Then they feel more comfortable and "allowed" to let loose, too.

One of my friends I like, flirted with me in an interesting way...we work in the same dept at my job, just on different shifts. She drew a cute anime style picture of me on the work calendar.

She likes my beautiful eyes:)

One of my friends later verified she's interested in me and the one who drew it..:) Now that I look back, I wish I understood the signals better...

Two flirting techniques that I have learned also have a double standard, and you'll see what I mean after I tell you.

  1. Make sure he is looking at you, you look at him, look down, look back up, then flash him your best smile. If he smiles back or looks embarrassed or flustered, then he likes you.
  2. This one never fails. Make sure he is looking at you, look him up and down, then smile at him. He'll know you're interested, then he just might make a move.

Eye contact, maybe one or two seconds, look away then look back, cross your leg pointed towards him. When he looks your way, smile, make eye contact, look away then look back, but not too much. Be polite. When you speak, ask something about him. If he tells a joke, laugh, but not too much. Then gently touch his arm or shoulder, very gently, he will get the message.

Why don't you just ask the guy if he likes you?? Ask his friends or something. Send him a note and see how and when he responds and what he does. I made my crush break up with his g/f by doing that! So yes, it works, for some people.

I am a girl and whenever I flirt with guys and slip them my phone number, they would alway call me back and say THEY LIKE ME.

I get so damn nervous around girls that I like. Usually girls like me back and show all signs of it, but I just don't have the courage to come up to them and talk to them. If they're just my friends from class, I don't care, but if it's something special, I freak out, and I'm in college now. I've had a girlfrind when I was a high school freshman, since then, I never had one. AND I WANNA GET SOME ALREADY!!! It's a natural thing (mating). LOL.

I'm a photographer - so I take pictures of them through their bedroom windows and send the photos to them with my name and address attached. If they like me - they usually don't send the police. Presto, I'm in!!!

I'm a girl, and if you flirt with guys when he's there, he gets jealous AND it shows your flirty attractive side without aiming it directly at him and giving away the game.

I'm talking to this girl on the phone, right, we've talked a couple of times, and well, one day, I called and she was like, I'm washing my car, will you call me back? So I call her back and no one answered so I left her a message that said ... "You know, you could've just told me you didn't want to talk to me or whatever..."

Then she calls me back and gets a little "crazy." She was like, "FIRST OF ALL, I WAS WASHING MY CAR..." As soon as she said that I knew I was in trouble. Anyways, so we talked about me messin up and saying that. But I think I lost her. Cause when we got off the phone I asked if she wanted me to call her back. And she said, "Do whatever you want to do," or, "If you want to." Something like that. So what do you think? Did I lose her? And what does "IF you want to," and "Do whatever you want to do," MEAN???

Oh, boy. I think you know what it means. She's pissed (and rightfully so) and at the moment she doesn't care what you do. I don't know if you "lost" her, but leaving a message like that because no one took your call, especially since she warned you she was busy OUTSIDE, is unwarranted and a turn-off. And dude, it's a bit dangerous for you to be giving her doubts, because this early in the relationship she can change her mind about you in a New York minute.

I would back off from her for a couple of days so she can get over it and try again. And in the future, don't jump to conclusions. If she stops taking your calls, suck it up, move on and don't waste time kicking yourself over stupid mistakes. Live and learn, truly.

I just walk right up to the girl and say, "Will you go out with me?" But I do this after I study her for a little bit. She does a lot of the stuff you mentioned above. I'm about to ask someone out so wish me good luck!

For the girl that said she told a dude she liked him and he said "I don't know": if a girl were to tell me she likes me...and I say I don't know...thats usually means I don't like you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings...Or he just likes you as a friend.

At least that is what I do.

For the guy with the phone calls: I agree, don't call her. My friend once gave her number to this guy. She decided later that she wasn't interested, but couldn't have the heart to really reject him, so she'd always say she was busy when he called, and even I lied for her when I answered...and the guy KEPT calling like 10 times. I kept thinking, doesn't he get the hint? I can't read the girl's mind in your case, so take with a grain of salt - but her feelings for you might have changed, or maybe she's pulling back and wants to be friends first because she doesn't know you well. Or she could just be flaky and wants to string you along. So don't keep calling, because it makes you look desperate and/or annoying.

Now a question. What do guys do to show interest in girls? 'Cause I have no sensibility for this at all. Example: there's this one guy I liked but couldn't tell how he felt, so I finally just told him I liked him, then asked him how he felt...and he said, "I don't know." Please translate, because if you liked someone or not, you'd just say yes or no, right?

She 'll look at you ( with a strange smile ), then turn away and then look at you again after some moments. Watch her if she does it again 2-3 times so you get the message. Message is: come and talk to me and more...

Okay, I have a question here. Check this out, I met this girl at her work, we flirted and all that good stuff, and every time I go in there she either talks to me or flirts w/me.

So awhile ago I ask if she wanted to go to a Professional Football Game. She got all excited and everything and said yes. So I was like cool and asked her for her number. She gave it to me.

Anyways, so I called her and she had cancelled cause we didn't know each other that well. Makes sense. BUT I have called her like 3 times and every time I called her she was busy or something and told me to call her back if I could.

Now the last time I called her I asked if she even wanted to talk to me at all she said of course I'm just busy right now. Then I said no, I mean AT ALL she said again of course, I'm just busy. I haven't called her back yet.

Now that you know the story here are the questions:

Should I call her back. Why did she give me her number if she didn't want to talk to me AND why did she freakin say yeah I wanna go to the football if she really didn't want to go.

I have been on quite a few dates and not afraid to approach a girl at all. But this girl is driving me nuts.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. :-)

DO NOT call her again. She didn't deserve the third call. When you really like a girl, do YOU keep putting her off? No you don't, unless you're a masochist. I can't explain her confusing behavior, but the reasons behind it don't matter. Not at all. She's a flake so forget about it and move on. Don't waste time wondering why girls say one thing and do another. We wonder the same thing about guys. The end result is the same, so why lose any sleep over it? You didn't do anything wrong.

I do not call acquaintances more than two times without getting a return call. It's common courtesy.

Okay, Guys, here you go.

Here are my little secrets or moves I use to break the ice or just talk to a lady.

  • Don't talk to them when they are by their friends, if you can help it.
  • Just go talk to them. Find a time when they are doing something you can comment on or make a joke about.
  • Don't be too forward. Sometimes this scares the ladies (at least from some of my experiences). And it makes them want you to ask them just a little bit more :-)
  • (this is a whole deal in itself): Be YOURSELF. Of course we hear it all the time. But it works, unless you want some girl to like you for somebody you're not. Plus, when are you more comfortable? When you are acting like somebody you're not, or when you are you, the person you've been your whole life (people can tell when you are tense.)
  • CONFIDENCE. You have to have some confidence. DON'T BE SCARED.
These are the some of the things I do or use when trying to talk to a lady. Not all of course couldn't give all my secrets away.

Ohh yeah, make sure you smile, a happy smile, not forced or like a sneer, but a smile puts people at ease and makes them feel comfortable. :-)


That asking the friend stuff. Don't go there, how can you ask his/her friend but not him/her? Plus, if the friend doesn't like you, wouldn't she/he say so?

Okay check this out: Girls, if you hang out with a lot of other guys that doesn't make a dude want you more, unless all you want from him is sex. Cause if a chic is flirting with a bunch of different dudes, to me,

  • she's a tease who just likes guys' attention
  • [excuse my language] she's a Wh**e or
  • she probably wouldn't want to talk to me cause she can talk to all these other guys.
That is just my opinion.

I am disturbed by a number of the female persuasion who pretend they don't like their crush. Being reserved is a good thing, but to flirt with guys you're not interested in, in front of your crush is misleading and well, stupid. I think it also confuses guys who end up asking ME out whom I have no interest in what-so-ever because these girls have ruined their radar system. I suppose I will try to be more sensitive to these misguided souls however irritating they can be. As for the women who have created this mess, get a life and learn some honesty, you're ruining it for those of us who want to have principles and integrity.

What if a guy looks at you up and down while biting his lip and smiling? Does that mean he likes you?

Well sure, if "like" means "like to get in your pants."

If he's your boss, that's completely INAPPROPRIATE, and most probably sexual harrassment.



So what's your secret? Give it to me, baby!